March 03, 2019
A priest and a nun were on a mission trip up in the mountains when a snowstorm crossed their path.
They saw an abandoned log cabin and went inside. The priest started a fire in the fireplace and found blankets and a sleeping bag but only one bed.
The priest told the nun that she could sleep on the bed and he would sleep in the sleeping bag in the floor. As they were alone and beginning to get settled, the young nun said, "father?"
He answered, "yes, sister?" "I'm cold." She young nun replied.
The priest got up and went to the closet and got another blanket and covered the nun. As he was settling back into his sleeping bag, she again said, "father?"
He asked again what was the matter, and the nun answered that she was still cold. Again, he got up, retrieved a blanket from the closet and covered her.
After tucking her in, he climbed back into the sleeping bag. Just as he was getting settled and the fire was crackling she called out to him again.
Again, the young nun she was cold. This time around, the priest lost his cool. He came up with a plan and said:
"Sister? We are all alone out here in this cabin in the mountains. Just this once, just for tonight, do you want to pretend that we are married?"
When she gave an enthusiastic, "Oh yes! I do," the priest replied:
"Ok, so get up and get your own dang blanket!"
One morning when I was going out of the house, I met my neighbor's daughter who was pregnant. When I returned home, I saw her father closing the door. I told him:
"Your daughter hasn't married yet. I wonder how it is possible for a girl without any husband to be pregnant?"
For a moment, her father, with a bitter smile, said: "She isn't pregnant; it is all wind in her belly. She'll just fart and recover."
The following year, I saw the same girl with a baby in her arms. Next day, when I was going out, I saw her father and I told him:
"I saw your daughter with her fart in her arms."
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman." The priest said:
"What do you mean, almost?"
The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."
The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box."
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying: "I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!"
The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!"
December 13, 2018
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