Wife Insisted Husband Keep His Beard, but He Had No Idea Why

Today’s dose of funny is all about beards, and the hairy situations they can lead too. While puns are intended and chuckles are a happy consequence, they will brighten up any day.

A HAIRY SITUATION

A young bearded man held by a young blond woman. | Source: Shutterstock.

A young bearded man held by a young blond woman. | Source: Shutterstock.

While James visited his mistress, she asked him in her sweetest voice if he could shave his beard.

“Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face,” she said.

But James’s wife had insisted for a while that he kept his beard, and he knew the wrath he would face at home if he shaved it off.

“My wife loves this beard. I couldn’t possibly do it. She would kill me!!” James replied. However, his mistress wasn’t going to take no for an answer. She nibbled on his ear and whispered, “Oh, please?”

A woman whispering into a bearded man's ear. | Source: Shutterstock.

A woman whispering into a bearded man's ear. | Source: Shutterstock.

James’ protests continued as she said, “Really, I can’t; my wife really loves this beard!” Not fazed by his rebuttals, the mistress continued until James gave in.

That evening, James got into bed and found his wife asleep; the movement caused her to turn toward him.

Half asleep, she felt his face and said, “Oh Michael, you shouldn’t be here. My husband will be home soon!”

STORY OF THE BEARD

One day I decided to grow a beard. I look hideous, but I also have a beard now. My dad is a rugged ex-Marine, and he had a salt-and-pepper beard, I guess he was a seasoned veteran.

So eventually my beard reached the desired length, but it got a bit longer because I got busy and things got hairy, so the next day I went to the barber.

A young man having his beard trimmed. | Source: Shutterstock.

A young man having his beard trimmed. | Source: Shutterstock.

I could only see him at the end of the business day, so it was a close shave, and I made sure not to wait too long for a trim after that.

Then I met this girl that didn’t like beards, so I shaved it off for her, but when I saw her after that, she hadn’t done the same for me.

With Movember just around the corner, I decided to stop shaving again, as having a beard had grown on me.

A young man examining his beard. | Source: Shutterstock.

A young man examining his beard. | Source: Shutterstock.

Happy with the regrowth of my beard, I went to visit my sister. While there, a man knocked on the door. “There’s a man at the door with a beard!” my nephew yelled from the front door.

Proudly I yelled back, “Tell him I already have one!”

In a similar joke of the day, a doctor and his wife had a heated argument over breakfast. After the doctor let his anger get the better of him, he said some things his wife later made sure he regretted.

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