September 20, 2019
Hopefully your week has sailed by smoothly. But just in case it hasn't, here a few jokes about cruise ships, for those vacation enthusiasts.
A guy went to a travel agent and tried to book a two week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. The travel agent said that all the ships were booked up and things were very tight, but that he would see what he could do.
A couple of days later, the travel agent phoned and said he could now get them onto a three day cruise. The guy agreed and went to the drugstore to buy three Dramamine's and three condoms.
Next day, the agent called back and said that he now could book a five day cruise. The guy said, "I'll take it," and returned to the same pharmacy, to buy two more Dramamine's and two more condoms.
The following day, the travel agent called yet again and said he could now book an eight day cruise. The guy agreed, and went back to the drugstore. He asked for three more Dramamine and three more condoms.
The pharmacist looked sympathetically at him and said:
"Look, if it makes you sick, why do you keep doing it?"
From a passenger cruise ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain. The cruise ship captain replied:
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts."
A magician was working on a cruise ship in. There was a different audience each week so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.
Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat."
"Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table."
"Hey, why are all these cards the Ace of Spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot. One day the ship had an accident and sank.
The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course! They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. this went on for a day and another and another.
After about a week the parrot said: "Okay, I give up. Where's the boat?"
September 14, 2019