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Two friends talking | Source: Shutterstock
Two friends talking | Source: Shutterstock

Am I Wrong for Ruining My Best Friend’s Relationship with Her Family Just before Her Wedding?

Wian Prinsloo
Mar 06, 2024
07:50 A.M.

Amber and I have always been extremely close. She's been my best friend now for decades, and she has always had my back when I needed it, but lately, I've been feeling slightly guilty about her supporting me without fail. Last September, she stood up for me once again, but this time it had serious consequences for her.

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Have you ever had a friend that stood up for you no matter what? Well, for me, that friend is Amber. We met each other in kindergarten, and we've been inseparable ever since. Our birthdays are a week apart, so we always held a joint party when we were kids, and we would even celebrate together during college.

Two women hanging out | Source: Getty Images

Two women hanging out | Source: Getty Images

As we both grew a bit older and got jobs, we were afraid we might drift apart, so we reserved Sundays for catching up. We'd get together somewhere and vent about our weeks, gossip about our love interests, and just generally enjoy each other's company. Eventually, Amber and her boyfriend became quite serious, and he proposed. I was over the moon for her and helped him plan the entire thing.

Wedding preparations soon followed — Amber never postponed anything — and everyone was excited for the big day. Amber and Donovan reeled me into the wedding planning, presumably because they didn't want me to feel like they were leaving me behind now that they were taking the next step in their relationship. And I enjoyed helping my best friend plan the perfect wedding.

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A man proposing to a woman in front of their friends | Source: Getty Images

A man proposing to a woman in front of their friends | Source: Getty Images

Pretty soon, we had everything in place. The bridal shower was done and everything else was set for the big day. We spent the last few weeks before the wedding meticulously going over every detail to ensure we didn't miss a thing, and when the day finally came, Amber could get ready without worrying about anything going wrong.

She had also asked me to be her maid of honor, and I naturally enthusiastically agreed. The morning of the rehearsal dinner, Amber and I spent getting ready. I had a relaxing shower before helping the happy bride-to-be into her dress. With us were the other bridesmaids — friends of Amber's from college and work — and one or two family members. I was beaming with pride at seeing my bestie so happy until I overheard some of her family talking.

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A bride and her bridesmaids | Source: Getty Images

A bride and her bridesmaids | Source: Getty Images

I had gone to the bathroom, and just as I was going back to where all the other ladies were finishing up their makeup and putting on their outfits, I walked past a corner where Amber, her aunt, and two of her cousins were gathered. I didn't want to intrude, so I was planning on walking past without them noticing, when I heard my name being mentioned. Feeling like I was snooping, but curious, I stopped to listen.

"Amber, I'm going to say this firmly but lovingly," her Aunt reiterated. "Lily's not a good match for you. Imagine what the wedding photos are going to look like with someone like her standing by your side. You don't want to look back in ten years and regret your choice of maid of honor."

Woman listening at a door | Source: Getty Images

Woman listening at a door | Source: Getty Images

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Now, bear in mind, Amber is a stunningly beautiful woman. Like, 10 out of 10. I, on the other hand, could easily be seen as her antithesis. I'm a bit overweight, I struggle with acne, I rarely manage to tame my wild and frizzy hair, and I generally don't get as much attention as Amber. But this has never been a problem before. Amber has always been there to make me feel like I was beautiful, which is why she's so important to me. And luckily, my best friend once again came to my defense.

"Look, I don't care what any of you think, Lily has earned her place as my maid of honor. She's been with me through some of the worst times in my life, and she'd do anything to make sure I'm happy. Goodness, she has done more to help organize this wedding than all of you put together. She's not going anywhere."

Family members having an argument | Source: Getty Images

Family members having an argument | Source: Getty Images

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That seemed to be the end of that. I smiled and made my way back to the dressing room to finish my makeup. I had other things to attend to before Amber and Don could say their vows, and I was even more determined not to let my best friend down.

But even though she had spoken up for me, the aunt and cousins apparently weren't done with their ploy to get me kicked out of the wedding. As we all lined up in the dressing room, ready to get the actual ceremony going, the thorny three, as I have come to think of them, suddenly took the opportunity to get a few more jabs in.

"Hey OP, I have a friend with really good Spanx that'll make you look a lot skinnier under your dress if you want her number," the aunt said with a smirk.

"And I could probably help you wrangle that rat's nest on your head before the wedding," one cousin took it upon herself to join in.

"That probably won't be enough to hide your skin, though. Maybe you should look into that."

Woman putting on makeup | Source: Getty Images

Woman putting on makeup | Source: Getty Images

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It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. It felt like I was in high school again, and the bullies had chosen the perfect moment to humiliate me. But I wasn't going to take their abuse. I told them to shut their mouths in a clear and direct tone. And I don't think they had expected any real retort from my part.

"What are you, a bunch of prissy high school mean girls with a score to settle? I heard what you said to Amber about kicking me out of the wedding. I know you're being petty to make me feel insecure. You're too old to be acting like this."

With a furious expression, Amber stepped out from behind me. If you've ever seen a stressed bride at her rehearsal dinner yell at family members, you'd know what I'm talking about.

Three woman bullying a fourth | Source: Getty Images

Three woman bullying a fourth | Source: Getty Images

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Amber berated them for a good ten minutes, and eventually told them to leave. The rest of the day went off without a hitch, and we were set for the wedding. The next morning, everyone gathered for the big day. Everyone, that is, except the thorny three. They never sent a message or anything, just refused to show up. Amber didn't seem worried, though, and we all had a lovely time celebrating her and Don's union.

A happy wedding | Source: Getty Images

A happy wedding | Source: Getty Images

The next day, however, the aunt ranted about how Amber was a "bridezilla" on Facebook, and a few other family members took her side. so now, Amber has decided to distance herself from a few members of her family for a while. She avoids family dinners and only really hangs out with her dad's side. I'm extremely grateful for the friend I have in her, but I wonder if my reaction was a bit harsh. I feel awful that her family ties have suffered because of me.

What would you do in my situation? Here are 20 stories about guests who ruined weddings.

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