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August 30, 2018

Cat owners know the struggle of getting medicine into their little fur-babies

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Cats are likely to resent and avoid medicine time because they do not know why they are being forced to swallow pills. This can be a particular challenge to cat owners.

Find out how you can make pills easier for your cat to swallow, according to Unijokes.

1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm. While holding the pill in the right hand, position the right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to its cheeks. Pop the pill immediately into its open mouth. Then allow the cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from the floor and the cat from behind the sofa. Cradle the cat in left arm and repeat the process.

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3. Take new pill from the foil wrap, cradle the cat in the left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force its jaws open and push the medicine to the back of the mouth with right forefinger. Hold the mouth shut for a count of ten.

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4. Kneel on the floor with cat wedged firmly between the knees, hold front and rear paws, ignore growls emitted by the cat. Get spouse to keep cat’s head tightly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into its mouth. Drop the pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

5. Retrieve the cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

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6. Wrap the cat in a large towel and get spouse to lie on the cat with cat’s head just visible from below armpit. Put the pill at the end of a drinking straw, force the cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down the straw.

7. Check the label to make sure the pill is not harmful to humans, drink a beer to take away the taste. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from the carpet with soap and water.

8. Tie the little angel’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of the dining table. Find heavy pruning gloves from the shed. Push the pill into its mouth, followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold the head vertical and pour two pints of water down cat’s throat to wash down pill.

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9. Consume the remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the ER, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes the pill from your eye. Call the furniture shop on the way home to order a new table.

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10. Arrange for RSPCA to collect the mutant cat from hell and ring the local pet shop to see whether they have any hamsters.

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