'My 65-year-old mother is a control freak and she is ruining my life'

Dear AmoMama,

I am a 48-year-old woman and I have never married. My mother was a helicopter single parent who took care of me, sacrificing her own enjoyment as a teen mom to make sure I never went without.

My mom never brought men home. She said my safety was more important than her lust, and after falling pregnant with me at seventeen, she promised God that she was done with all of that.

I spent my own teenage years not being allowed to date boys because she was scared of me repeating her mistakes.

Although I am really, truly grateful for all that she has done for me, I feel like my now-65-year-old mother is a control freak and she is ruining my life.

Source: Pixabay

Source: Pixabay

And no, she never once called me a mistake or made me think I was anything but very much loved and wanted – even though her own family kicked her out and my dad was a no-show.

I know I owe this woman my life, her parents wanted her to abort me, but she stuck it out - worked menial jobs to feed us and keep us warm and safe.

I don't want to come across as selfish, I know what I sound like right now, but just because she got knocked up at 17 doesn't mean I should stay away from all men, forever.

I need her to allow me to make my choices as a grown woman and to respect them. I have dated some very nice, honorable men, but she has found fault in them anyway. Nobody is good enough for me.

Source: Pixabay

Source: Pixabay

She has attacked every man I have brought home, not physically, but verbally, accusing them of things they haven't done or things she says they may do in the future.

I love my mother but she finds problems with anyone I date. She claims they're all cheaters and liars and only after one thing, and one by one, every man I have ever been interested in has made me choose between her and them.

Look, I will never put my mother in an old-age home or abandon her to live on her own. We have come too far together to split us up now. She has always been the center of my existence but I just want my own life too.

Source: Pixabay

Source: Pixabay

Last week, I sent her off on one of those three-week 60-Plus vacation cruises. I had to force her to go but I feel like she also needs to find herself and not just be "my mother" – who knows, maybe she'll unwind and find me a new daddy! 

I have a whole bunch of exciting dates and plans made for while she's away. Am I an awful daughter? Do I not deserve the chance to see what my life can be like? I don't want to disrespect my mother, but she's getting old and frankly, I don't want to die alone. 

Please give me some advice. 

If you need help or advice, reach out to us, and thousands of women just like you who are struggling with the difficulties of life. You are not alone, we are here for you, and we listen; so write to us anonymously using this form.

Related posts
Apr 23, 2019
Here is how I obtained my sexuality at 74 while facing several impediments
Stories Mar 28, 2019
My Husband Regularly Cheats on Me with Our Housekeeper and I Thought It Was for the Best
Relationship Feb 21, 2019
To the woman who tried to steal my husband: Thank you for making me a better wife
Feb 07, 2019
Oprah Winfrey talks retirement and reveals what she would tell her 25-year-old self