I am meant to be the grieving widow but have discovered I am just a laughing stock. My husband of 15 years died and he left everything to his lover – a man he knew from work.
Not only has he robbed me of my inheritance but I found out he was gay the whole time we were together. Everything makes sense now and I am so angry and hurt and disappointed.
Worst of all is that he didn't even have the guts or the courtesy to tell me. I mean, we've been together since high school and I only found out in his lawyer's office that our life together was a lie.
He never wanted children, blamed his libido on health issues, spent more money on clothes than I did, and never came home on time. His business trips were a euphemism for gay trysts with his lover.
I was so blind. I was too trusting, and so much in love. I sought nutritionists and dieticians to correct his imbalances when I should have consulted therapists and counselors, and maybe divorce lawyers.
How could he hide his true self from me all this time? What kind of a man steals another person's life without feeling a modicum of guilt and shame?
I am 35 years old now and alone. My clock is ticking but not for much longer. I haven't so much as looked at another man since meeting him and I have no hope of finding someone who will love me now.
My hope of having babies flew out of the window when he died.
I also have no home because he left it to Joe-blow in his will. It belonged to his parents so I have no claim over it, and frankly, I can't see myself going to court to fight for it and being publically humiliated when everyone finds out the sordid details of my husband's will and sexual history.
I wish the world would just open up and swallow me. My friends looked at me with pity and his friends couldn't even make eye contact at the funeral reception. I must have looked like an absolute moron, crying for my dear dead husband.
He played me for a fool. And there's nothing I can do about it now. How do I move on from this? How do I continue? Where do I even start? Does anyone have some advice for me?
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February 01, 2019