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September 26, 2018

Men realize what they would and wouldn't do for their better half

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Here are some jokes about men who realize what they would and wouldn't do for their wife that will get you giggling.

FOR THE MRS?

Even though there was a blizzard raging outside, I made it the half-mile to the bakery, where I asked the owner for six rolls.

“Your wife must like rolls,” he said.

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“How do you know these are for my wife?” I asked.

“Because your mother wouldn’t send you out in weather like this.”

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YEARS OF ROMANCE

Shortly before our 25th wedding anniversary, my husband sent 25 long-stemmed yellow roses to me at my office.

A few days later, I plucked all the petals and dried them. On the night of our anniversary, I spread the petals over the bed and lay on top of them, wearing only a negligee.

As I’d hoped, I got a reaction from my husband. When he saw me, he shouted, “Are those potato chips?”

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TAKING TURNS

Scene: My checkout line at the supermarket.

Me: Paper or plastic?

Customer: I’d like double-bagged paper, and I’d like you to make each bag as heavy as possible.

Me: Okay.

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Customer: In case you’re wondering, I had a fight with my wife, and it’s my turn to pick up the groceries.

Me: Uh-huh.

Customer: It’s also her turn to unload the car.

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TAILOR-MADE QUIPS

My husband and I couldn’t decide which jacket to buy our granddaughter, so we asked the young salesman.

“If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend,” I said, “what would you get?”

“A bulletproof one,” he said. “I’m married.”

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