No relationship is perfect. Married couples especially have to grow used to each other's habits.
Sometimes, they need a little outside help to do so. This joke is about how one couple used a hypnotist to fix a common issue they had.
One day, a man's wife came home and told him: "Do you remember the headaches I've been having over the years? Well, they've stopped.
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Shocked, the husband wanted to know his wife's fix. He asked, "How did you get them to stop? What did you do?"
The wife replied, "My friend Shannon referred me to a professional hypnotist." She continued, "He instructed me to face myself in a mirror, stare at myself, and keep repeating 'I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It actually worked! No more headaches!"
Then she told her husband, "You haven't exactly been the most exciting in the bedroom for a few years now. Why not visit the hypnotist and see if he can help with that?"
The husband obliged. He saw the hypnotist some days later. When he returned home from the appointment, he took off his clothes straight away.
Then he lifted up his wife and carried her to their bedroom. He lay her down on the bed and told her, "Don't go anywhere, I'm coming right back."
He disappeared into the bathroom and came back a few minutes later. Then he made passionate love to his wife like she had never experienced.
"Wow! That was incredible!" the wife exclaimed.
"Don't go anywhere! I'm coming right back!" the husband told her again. He returned to the bathroom and then went back to his wife for round two.
Somehow it was even better the second time around. His wife was beyond herself with satisfaction.
"Don't go anywhere! I'm coming right back!" the husband repeated once more. When he ran into the bathroom, his wife quietly followed him this time.
She found him looking in the mirror at himself and saying over and over: "She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife."
The funeral service of the deceased husband will be held on Sunday.
March 28, 2019