Amazing jokes that will make you smile all day
These hilarious exchanges are sure to tickle your funny bone and keep you delighted and refreshed for the rest of the day.
One a father and a son were having a conversation.
Son: "Daddy; why some of your hairs have turned white?"
Father: "Every lie told by you makes one of my hairs white."
Son: "Oh now I understood why all grandfathers' hairs are white."
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During a dangerous shootout with narcotics dealers, three highly decorated police officers get shot and go to heaven.
In heaven, God greeted them and asked, “When you are laid out in your casket with your fellow officers and family mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?”
The first cop firmly replied, “I would like to hear them say that I was the bravest cop on the force.”
The second officer replied, “I would like to hear that I was a terrific cop who died in the line of duty.”
The third officer then said, “I would like to hear them say, ‘Look! He’s moving!”
When Thomas reached the age of 32 but was still single, a friend of him got concerned. One day, he asked him “Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who you think will be a good wife?”
Thomas calmly replied, “I’ve found many women whom I have wanted to marry but my mother has not liked any of them so far.”
His friend thought about his problem for a while. Finally, he said, “I’ve got a great solution to your problem. All you have to do is find a girl who is just like your mother.”
A few months passed by before they met again. This time, his friend immediately asked, “So what happened? Did you find the right girl? Did your mother like her?”
But Thomas still had a big frown on his face. “Yes, I did find the right girl. She was just like my mother. And she did like her very much.”
The friend asked, “Then what’s the problem?”
Thomas sadly replied, “My father did not like her.”
While consulting with his family doctor, a man asked, "Doc, I think my wife’s going deaf."
The doctor gave him a questioning look. "Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you’ll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is."
The man was skeptical but decided to perform the test on his wife anyway. As soon as he walked in the door, he said, "Honey, what’s for dinner?"
When he didn’t hear an answer, he moved a bit closer to her. "Honey, what’s for dinner?"
There still was no answer so he repeated this several times, each time moving closer and closer to his wife.
Finally, when he was standing no more than just a few feet away from her, his wife answered, "For the eleventh time, I said we’re having MEATLOAF!”