April 16, 2019
Honesty is the best policy - and a young 16-year-old gets exactly what he wants by being hopelessly honest in a job application. Hilariously so, in fact.
According to Urban Legend, the boy submitted his application to a McDonald's fast-food establishment in San Diego with the following hilarious answers that must have had even Ronald McDonald in stitches:
Name: Greg Bulmash.
Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
Desired position: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
Desired salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
Last position held: Target for middle management hostility.
Salary: Less than I'm worth.
Reason for leaving: It sucked.
May we contact your current employer?: If I had one, would I be here?
Hours available to work: Any.
Preferred hours: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
Special skills: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 lbs.?: Of what?
Do you have a car?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
Have you received any special awards or recognition?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
Do you smoke?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
What would you like to be doing in five years?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge?: Yes. Absolutely.
Sign here: Aries.
Did you find his application honest and worthy of hiring or does McDonalds just have different standards? Remember to share with your friends and click here for another funny story.