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Daily Joke: Short Guide to the Five Stages of Being Drunk

Razia Meer
Jul 23, 2019
02:35 A.M.

Anyone who makes it a habit of getting drunk or being around drunk people will attest to these "5 Stages of Being Drunk." At which stage do you usually stop drinking and call a cab to go home?

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Stage 1 - SMART

This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know it all and you desperately want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen.

At this stage, you are always RIGHT, and of course, the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are in Stage 1 of being drunk.

Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING

This is when it dawns on you that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that everyone wants you.

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A full city bar. | Source: Evonics/Pexels

A full city bar. | Source: Evonics/Pexels

You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they are interested in you and really want to talk to you, and since you are still SMART, you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

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Stage 3 - RICH

This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy rounds of drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar.

You can also make bets at this stage because, of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you will win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH.

Bottles at the bar. | Source: Unsplash

Bottles at the bar. | Source: Unsplash

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You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy because you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world and have your pick of suitable dates for the night.

Stage 4 - BULLETPROOF

You have now evolved into a person that can't be injured at all. You are the Luke Cage of this bar and are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing.

You can also go up to the partners of the people you fancy and challenge them to a battle of wits or money.

City bar at night. | Source: Pexels

City bar at night. | Source: Pexels

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You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE

This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. When you reach this point, you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU.

You dance on a table to impress the people you like because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you.

You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART, you know all the words.

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Drunk man passed out in a park. | Source: Unsplash

Drunk man passed out in a park. | Source: Unsplash

What's the drunkest you've ever been? Remember to share it with your friends and see what they say!

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Recently a mom was arrested for drunk driving at 150 mph and her excuse was that she was trying to 'teach her son a lesson.'

The 48-year-old Kentucky mother was charged by Lexington Metro Police with endangering a minor and drunk driving.

Sunita told police she “drank a bunch of beer and got in the car to teach her son a lesson.” Her blood alcohol content was .161, which is twice the legal limit.

After drinking all day, the woman had got into her 2014 BMW X1 with her son and drove 150 mph. The scared boy said he was unable to exit the car because the doors had been locked.

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