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Man Tells Wife That His Mom Doesn't Have to Be a Grandmother — Here's Why

Joe Akins
Nov 05, 2020
04:30 A.M.
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A Reddit user falls out with his wife after disagreeing over his mom’s lack of interest in being the typical grandma with their kids.


A Reddit user shared that his mother was never the best mom. She was often very awkward around kids, and his father had a career that needed her to live the socialite life.

As a result, the man and his siblings spent most of their childhood with nannies as their mother was not very maternal.

A sad man sitting on the sofa and holding his forehead. | Photo: Shutterstock


Right from their childhood, the children worshipped their father despite his absence in the home. To their mother, they were very unkind, and in retrospect, the man realized it was some internalized sexism as they never questioned their father’s whereabouts.

As they grew older into teenagers, the disconnect got better, and by the time they were adults, they became close with their mom.


The man no longer resented his mother as he understood that some people are just not maternal and that their dad needed her to be there for him career-wise.

Now an adult, the man has two sons, a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old. His mom’s demeanor towards children never really changed, and he noted how awkward and on edge she was around the rowdy young boys.


His wife also noticed how uninterested his mother seemed to be when it came to their kids. One day, the man’s wife and mother got into a heated argument.

His wife accused his mom of not being a good grandmother and gave her an ultimatum: she had to pick up her responsibilities as a grandmother if she wanted to stay in their lives.


The man’s mother got furious and left their house. The man told his wife that she was being unfair and had no right to address the issue in that manner.

His wife refused, adamant that their children needed to come as a package deal, and her mother-in-law should not get to be uninterested with them.

The man noted how sexist it was that his wife seemed to omit that his father was just as disinterested because he did not like other people’s kids.


While speaking to his angry mom on the phone, the man had to tell her that he could not allow her badmouth his wife to him. Off the phone, he told his equally-angry wife that his mother did not have to be a grandma if she did not want to.

His wife accused him of being selfish and not thinking of the kids. He wondered if he was right. In another similar story, a man tells his wife it is her fault that they are homeless.