Girl Refused to Let Ex to Contact Her, Then He Reached Her Parents — Discussion of the Day
Of all the issues people face in a relationship, messing up communication is one of the most threatening problems to tackle. When you can’t communicate with your friend, family member, or partner, you’re opening the door to misunderstandings.
Trying to communicate with your dear ones is a noble cause. Still, many relationships end up having unavoidable problems even when their understanding resonates with each other. These communication issues mimic a trap you’ve unknowingly set for yourself and can eventually destroy your connection with your dear ones if you aren’t cautious.
Eventually, distance sprouts up, and several problems start to get in the way. Amidst the emotional chaos, you’re not likely to feel understood if you can’t disclose how you feel to the concerned person. Though communication hassles are common and aren’t necessarily fatal, they can still take a severe toll on your relationship.
Feeling Trapped and Speechless
Sometimes, you might feel trapped in an air-tight situation, unable to come up with a life-changing decision. Take this Redditor, for example. She’s confused about whether she should patch up with her partner, who chose his house over her.
The 24-year-old Redditor’s life was blessed with bliss, all thanks to the love of her life. The two dated for almost a year when he proposed to her. It sounds like the typical “made for each other” story, right? Unfortunately, miscommunication exposed their inner demons.
The two parted ways after the Redditor was stubborn not to move in with her fiancé. Deep inside, she’d assumed that both she and her partner were on the same page. She thought he’d blindly agree to move in with her into her house instead of asking her to pack and shift to his place. She’d even announced that her fiancé would move in with her after their wedding. But the young man knew he had to make a minor correction here. He boldly confessed that she and not him would be moving along.
The misunderstanding slowly took a toll on the Redditor, and even her family mocked her for her bizarre assumption. According to her family, women are the ones who move into their spouse’s house. The Redditor’s idea of having her fiancé move in with her wasn’t just topsy-turvy. It was against the typical traditions.
But she wasn’t wrong either. At this point, she stood her ground, despite knowing that her fiancé wouldn’t leave his house for her. His emotions were attached to the place he stayed in. It wasn’t just brick or stones cemented together. It was his family home where he cherished his late parents’ memories.
Deep inside, she felt defeated and decided not to compromise with her decision. She wondered if she’d have to spend her life with someone who wouldn’t make even a small sacrifice like this for her. The couple parted ways, but thankfully, it was temporary.
The Redditor had blocked her family and friends. She refused to contact them and isolated herself, fearing the pressure from all sides. Almost a month later, she learned through her family that her ex was willing to leave his house and move in with her. The Redditor was confused and took things to social media to seek some guidance. She was confused whether she’d go back to her fiancé, who chose his house over her.
Several Redditors jumped in her favor, but there were some red flags too. For instance, one user took neither of their sides but pointed out why communication is crucial to preserving a relationship. The person wrote:
“I think it’s actually you who chose a house over him. You broke up an engagement instead of having a conversation about it.”
Another person commented in a similar tone, sharing a shred of advice to the Redditor:
“You are expecting him to ignore tradition and cultural norms without a detailed discussion of your thoughts, wants, and needs regarding a married life with him. You have to fully communicate to him your feelings on this with him.”
Sometimes, you may think that your decisions are crucial to safeguard your peace of mind. But when in a relationship, you must communicate with your loved ones. At times, you have to tell them how you feel and what you want before forcing your decision on them.
You wouldn’t want someone to do the same thing to you, would you? However, the scenario isn’t the same for everyone. In some relationships, the concerned people swear by effective communication. But that doesn’t keep issues at bay, and some reason always pops, causing chaos in a relationship.
Communicate, Don’t Backbite
For instance, a Redditor overheard his girlfriend mocking him to her friends. Sad, right? But till the end, his partner crowned him with criticisms to prove she was always right and he was wrong.
According to the Redditor, he and his girlfriend had been dating for seven months when she went to Europe. This trip didn’t take flight without those light yet hearty arguments between them. He disclosed that they’d never had any severe conflicts so far.
But things soon changed when he overheard her mock his depression diagnosis, medication, and even how he sounded while talking to his doctor. His girlfriend was unaware that he’d already connected via FaceTime. She continued criticizing him to her friends.
Unable to take it further, he cut through their conversation and let her know he overheard everything. But to his dismay, his girlfriend refused to own up to her mistake. She never apologized for sharing his sensitive information with her friends. In the Redditor’s opinion, his partner had violated their relationship norms. In the end, she did apologize for her mistake but stood her ground to make sure that what she did wasn’t wrong.
Several Redditors expressed their support to the Redditor and advised him to decide what’s “best” for him in this case. One user wrote:
“Yes, I have used friends as soundboards or to vent to if I’m frustrated about something in my relationship, but I always talk about it in terms of me and not my partner’s personal information.”
Communication is crucial to strengthening a relationship. But that doesn’t mean you’re doing justice to yourself by revealing sensitive details to others, even if they are your childhood friends. Apart from strong communication, a relationship thrives from understanding, trust, and respect.
It’s natural to expect a specific behavior or secret from your loved one. But making baseless assumptions and sharing them can become harmful.
Sometimes, It’s Okay to Say “No”
In some cases, people are straightforward in sharing an honest opinion about their loved ones. For example, telling your partner that you don’t like their hairdo means no harm to a relationship. You are just honest and communicative.
Honest confessions, sometimes, strengthen your understandability and get rid of communication barriers. But what if you have no choice but to say “yes” all the time to please your loved one?
One Redditor revealed that his girlfriend isn’t always okay with him being her “yes” man. The 20-year-old man and his ladylove had been dating for around three years. Most of the time, he’d been nodding to whatever she said to make her happy. He did everything he could to please her, and it was something fair on his part to keep her happy.
But the only problem was that he never said no to her. Having had enough of his weird “yes” man attitude, his girlfriend told him straight on his face that it was okay if he disagreed with her.
However, the Redditor seemed clouded with confusion. He couldn’t figure out why his partner didn’t enjoy though he did things that gratified her. Several Redditors found his story relatable, and one user even commented:
“This is my relationship. He’s a yes man, and it’s boring. Very boring. It’s great that he is so nice, but it’s too nice. There is absolutely no spice.”
Exactly! Relationships seem enjoyable when different emotions fuse. For instance, saying yes to whatever your loved one says might soon become too monotonous. At the end of every discussion or conversation, they’d know you’re about to say yes and not debate with your views either for or against their opinions.
You have to communicate and let them know what you feel too. Maybe his partner could’ve made wrong decisions at times, and he could’ve quickly helped her by disagreeing with her opinions.
Sort Out Your Differences
Communication is what makes a relationship stronger even after the most challenging times. Another Redditor’s story is quite relatable with this concept. According to the 33-year-old, he broke up with his partner due to lifestyle differences.
Two years after his divorce, the young man thought he’d start fresh. He eventually got into a serious relationship with a wonderful woman he knew. It was her first relationship in two years, the previous one having ended with emotional chaos.
Three months into dating each other, they almost felt they were on the same page. The Redditor conversed with her easily than with any other person he knew. But things changed when they moved in together, paving the way for lifestyle differences.
They both loved animals, but his partner’s small dog wouldn’t get along with his Husky and his pet cat. Since she hailed from the northern part of the U.S., she moved south to live with him. She couldn’t tolerate the scorching summers and eventually moved back to her place.
After several misalignments in their lifestyle, he decided to part ways with her. Deep inside, he felt sorry for ending a relationship, fearing he was repeating his past. The Redditor was confused whether he’d made the right choice.
Several Redditors advised him, and one user commented:
“I think that the differences that you have mentioned are not really a big deal and can be dealt with by compromising and proper communication.”
Thankfully, he reached out to his partner and apologized for letting his past take over his future with her. Not only did his girlfriend appreciate his honesty, but they’re back together!
Communication is necessary to stand your ground and express yourself. Even if you’re at a café and are served something you don’t like, you’d immediately call the waiter to order something appetizing. It’s as simple as this!
Your life can’t get any more straightforward when you disclose your opinion when you have to! Communication helps you bridge the gap in relationships and paves the way for a better tomorrow with your loved ones. While honesty and openness are cornerstones of healthy relationships, you have to speak out when you feel you have to. Your comments are appreciated! Thanks for reading!