People Share the Biggest Secrets They Have Kept from Their Spouses for Years

Have you ever kept a secret from your significant other? If so, then you are not alone. Sometimes, people keep secrets to protect those they love from getting hurt. It could be because some people cannot handle the truth, or simply spilling the beans can worsen the situation.

We all have secrets; some we can take to the grave, others we can't. Despite knowing the repercussions of what these secrets can cause, people choose to keep them anyway. If you thought you were alone in this, guess what? You are not!

These people shared on Reddit some of the biggest secrets they have kept from their spouses and how their significant others reacted once they found out. Let's check out what they had to say.

Comments have been edited for grammar and clarity.

1. I Sneaked in a Stray Cat When She Was Away

u/[deleted]: The only thing that I kept from my wife was the fact that I was letting a local stray cat in the house. Our lease stipulates no pets. I hoped we'd take it with us when we moved out in a few years. She came home earlier than expected one day and was pissed that I not only let the cat in the house but let it on the bed.

2. The Debt That Almost Ruined Our Marriage

u/gurft: Ten thousand dollars in debt. Before we were together, I made great money, had few living expenses, and the world was good. I paid cash for almost everything. While dating, I would buy my significant other gifts regularly, or we would go to dinner, attend a show, etc. I also had a project car that I worked on constantly.

Once we got married, bought a house, and had kids, living expenses increased, but my wages didn't go up as much. Don't get me wrong, we were paying the bills, but there wasn't as much disposable income.

Over time, I continued living the way I had been (gifts. projects, etc), and slowly, my debt started increasing. Most went on credit cards, and when she asked me where I was getting things, I would say I bought them used, traded something else, or saved up.

All my direct deposits went to my bank account. I had sources of income from work bonuses when I was on call that I wouldn't tell my wife about and send off to the cards to keep them off my back.

Since this wasn't a regular source of income, I was always dreading a phone call asking where this month's payment was. It came one night, and I didn't pick up the phone. Late payment to a card that my wife didn't know about.

They wouldn't tell her the balance on the card (for privacy reasons), but the cat was pretty much out of the bag. To some, 10k may not sound like a lot of money, and to us, at the time, it wasn't.

It was the loss of trust, the hiding, the lying, the cloak and dagger. I was selling stuff on eBay to get money to make minimum payments/etc. We worked through it, and it made our marriage stronger.

We planned to fix things financially and worked together on my spending issues. It took time to rebuild the trust, but I still, to this day, wish I would have told her sooner or never let it happen.

3. I Won't Give up Pizza!

u/[deleted]: We aren't married but live together. Anyway, my partner is a super healthy, crunchy yoga addict. We have no meat in the house and live off rice and beans. So whenever he is gone out of town for work, I'm home alone! I'll order pizza delivery.

The box will be in the trashcan by the time he gets back. I also go to drive-thrus on the sly. I throw everything away so my car doesn't smell and he doesn't know. Receipts and all. No evidence.

I feel guilty, but we do not have joint accounts or anything like that. I've never promised to give up meat or certain foods, so I'm not lying to him. I pay my way just fine, so I figure what I do with my money is my business.

4. I Turned Down a Well-Paying Job

u/Scrappy_Larue: I was offered a substantial amount of money for my company and turned it down in the same conversation. It would have been a windfall of cash, but there were stipulations that I was not willing to agree to.

I went home and told my wife about it, and she was deeply hurt that I didn't include her in the decision. I saw it as another business decision I make daily without her input.

Many are curious about the stipulations. The offer was from a friend and ex-employer. His company was a similar business and at least five times my size.

The biggest caveat was that I went with the deal and would have to agree to ten years of employment. So, I would still be running my company and working for the larger company. There would have been tremendous pressure on me to show a return on the investment. That's where morals come in.

There is more money to be made by wading into the grey areas of the law and occasionally crossing the line of legality. That was a major reason I left that company and started my own in the first place.

Had I been offered more money up front, with the ability to walk away from it and retire, I probably would have consulted my wife only because I would have struggled with that decision. It would not have been the first time I asked her advice about a business decision I was waffling on.

5. I Didn't Know I Was Dating a Convict!

u/Lilzillaz: Not my secret, and not my spouse, but a man I was dating with serious intent a few years ago. When I met him, I knew he was down on his luck and had run-ins with the law.

He said he was a changed man and wanted to provide for his family by working a normal job. He was working in construction and seemed to be doing well, and we were happy.

A few months into our relationship, I got an acceptance letter to college out of the province. We decided to try the long-distance thing, and I went off. About two weeks after I moved away, I got a call from my brother.

He told me he had been spending time with this mutual friend of mine, and my brother was worried about me. Apparently, my boyfriend had just been released from jail before we got together.

He was jailed for large-scale drug and human trafficking. Also, he was still actively pimping girls out and was trying to get me on the hook so he could pimp me out as well. To say I was shocked is an understatement. I never spoke to my "boyfriend" again.

6. I Was Only Trying to Help, but He Took It the Wrong Way

u/tattedupgirl: My husband was extremely stressed out, and his poor mom needed $2,000.00 that we could not help with. So, without telling him, I went to local stores and worked out a deal selling cookies and brownies to raise money for his mom.

I didn't tell my husband about it; I wanted to get the money first. I didn't want him thinking all day about if the cookies and brownies sold. When he found out, he got mad, saying I was sneaking behind his back and how dare I. I thought I was doing something good.

This all happened years ago. At the time, my husband, who was my boyfriend, had gone from working every day to being disabled, and it stressed him out for a while. He thought he was no longer a man.

I knew nothing about pride and ego and all that stuff, and he didn't deal with it in the best of ways. I did what I thought was right; I stepped in, took control, and got three jobs to take care of us and my son. I was wrong not to tell him about it, and he was wrong in how he dealt with it.

He made me feel like a scam. It continued for about a month until one night, I just couldn't take it anymore. While crying my eyes out, I told him that since I was such a horrible person, the best thing for him was to leave and find someone better. He could either leave me or get over it; I couldn't handle being yelled at every day.

Somehow, we worked it out; it was hard, but now, we have a great marriage, and we have learned how to be real team players. I tell him everything, even what he does not want to know.

7. I Managed to Conceal My Pokémon Obsession

u/galahaa: I managed to hide my Pokemon addiction from my significant other for the first six months of our relationship. I don't think the word 'Pokemon' was mentioned once in all that time.

I live and breathe Pokemon; I wrote my Master's dissertation. My partner thought she had found a nice, sensible person. Once we were serious and semi-settled down, it all came spilling out. I did my best to stagger the revelations, but once the floodgates opened, they were not closing.

The worst was when I changed my Facebook display picture to the Pokemon trainer and refused to change it back. We're still happily together, and now I try to delay my Pokemon activities until she falls asleep.

8. I Wish I Told Him Earlier

u/itsamesecret: I failed last semester at school. I didn't want to tell my man because we had a vacation planned in May that he was looking forward to because of his stress from work. I also knew he couldn't wait for me to graduate because he wanted to move.

It was a big deal to him, and I couldn't face disappointing him. After vacation, there was a wedding we had to attend, so I planned to tell him after that. Then we had a concert to go to that we had bought tickets for with friends the winter before.

I kept putting it off; it had been months since I didn't share the information. Obviously, the best time to tell him about it was in the beginning, but I didn't.

When I finally told him the new semester was starting, he still thought I was going to school, but I wasn't because I had to wait a semester per school policy. I finally told him, and now, after four years, we're no longer together. I seriously messed up.

9. My Plan Backfired

u/Boonaki: My wife got a chihuahua without talking to me first. I was rather pissed and hated that little dog. So, I hatched a plan to get rid of it.

I started pissing on the floor and blaming the dog, so my wife bought a carpet cleaner. It became a game for me, I did feel a bit bad when she'd rub her nose in my piss, but I was determined to get rid of that dog.

Thirty or 40 pools of piss later, she caught me pissing on the floor. She was very upset. She eventually forgave me; the dog and I are now good friends.

10. Not Believing in God Took a Toll on Our Marriage

u/Brianemone: I hid the fact that I didn't believe in God for three years. We met at church, but after about a year of being married, I stopped believing in God. I was worried about how she would react if I told her the truth, so I followed the routines of a devout, God-fearing husband for three years.

After that time, I found it difficult to lie and told her the truth. It caused us to separate twice in the coming years. We got help from a marriage therapist, and after a few years, she decided to join me as a heathen. We've been married for eleven years and look forward to many more together.

11. My Secret Life as a Lottery Winner

u/tarandfeathers: I won the lottery big time (I could buy an average island). Nobody knows. I just manage to have decent money "from my job," no questions asked. In fact, I rented a small studio where I go and meditate during work hours.

The only slightly more expensive thing I indulged in was an F1 Savannah Cat, but I told her it was a gift. The irony is that winning the lottery is one of her dreams she always talked about after buying her weekly ticket. The other irony is that I am not a gambler (I took the winning ticket as a change at the cigarette shop).

12. How I Faked Having a Job in the Midst of Unemployment

u/tommyjohnpauljones: I got fired at the end of September 2011. I knew it was coming, so I had another job lined up, but it didn't start until the second week of November.

So, rather than tell her I got fired, I simply left the house every day, pretending to go to work, and came home at the end of the day.

Most of the time, I just hung out at Wi-Fi places and borrowed enough money from my mom to cover enough bills to keep us afloat for a month. Telling her would have caused just as much stress, but either way, it hurts.

13. The Shocking Secrets I Discovered in My Wife's Journal

u/Karch9: I kept the secret that I accidentally found her diary cracked open on a shelf in her office. The page it was open to was about me and everything I'd done wrong to her over the years. It was like a list of reasons to leave.

There was nothing dramatic but events in our life where she was angry about my mood, reaction, and things I'd said. Imagine all of your memories with your spouse that you perceived one way and finding out she experienced them completely differently in a negative way.

It was a punch to the gut. I kept that to myself but knew it was a matter of time before she was out the door. She left about six months later after many years of marriage. It was ultimately a good thing.

14. My Girlfriend's Secret Puff Sessions

u/Hollowsong: My girlfriend kept smoking behind my back, then got an electronic cigarette and started boasting about these new flavors.

I caught her with the whole "Wait, why do you need to start up on flavored nicotine? I thought you quit smoking like eight months ago". I was more angry that she was hiding it from me.

Even though she's trying to get better with lower nicotine dosage with electronic cigarettes, she's one of those people who can't shake bad habits and is very stubborn.

15. The $200 Secret I Kept for Her Happiness

u/skixcsgo: She broke her brand new laptop display and told me to get it repaired if it costs under a hundred bucks because she was moving and, therefore, didn't have much money.

I knew from the start it would cost more. My significant other was so sad and disappointed in herself that she broke it just two months after buying it. I wanted to do something about it, but I knew she would never let me pay it for her.

So I brought it home, repaired it for 200 bucks, and told her the bill was $80. I normally never lie to her, so it feels weird, but if she is happy, I'm happy.

16. I Got Busted!

u/DarkFlounder: I was stealing unused equipment from work and selling it on eBay to cover rent, utilities, and food since my wife refused to get a job and insisted we live beyond our means. I got caught and fired. She found out and divorced me.

17. He Didn't Even Know My Real Name

u/Branchess66: No longer together, but I never told him my real name when we were. It wasn't intentional. I've always gone by my middle name since grade school, and it wasn't until we'd broken up that I realized he never knew.

18. My Grandfather's Trust Fund Tested Our Marriage

u/moby_d***k: I never told my wife about the trust fund my grandfather had left for me to be received at a certain age. (I never told anyone, actually, because I wanted to avoid gold diggers, and I'm thrifty, and I like a thrifty girl.)

Finally, my brother (who also received a trust fund) casually mentioned it to her, assuming she knew about it. She was pretty mad that I had ever thought she would be a gold digger.

Of course, I knew she wasn't, but I didn't want money to be a factor in our relationship at the beginning, and we had a good thing going, so why change it? That started a pretty ugly season of our relationship.

19. His Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

u/amandabee8: I secretly love when he has to travel for work. Not because I like him being gone but because those one or two days apart give us both a chance to reset and love each other much more when he returns. And the kids listen better when it's just me.

20. How I Discovered a Book Filled with Black Magic and Grave Secrets

u/Sysiphuslove: About four years into a relationship with a guy, I found his book about black magic. In the book was a VERY detailed description of how to break into mausoleums and the type of key needed to get into a casket.

There was a step-by-step process of opening a casket, sitting there in a pitch-dark mausoleum all night, and holding the hand of a corpse until the practitioner had some kind of mental breakdown that let him get into contact with some kind of spirit of the dead.

Not much bothers me, but that book bothered me. I didn't want it in my house; it was a little pamphlet-type book and not expensive. I asked him to put it in his car or throw it away.

That was a big argument for some stupid reason. It bothered me even more that he was getting all worked up and possessive over something like that.

21. The Awkward Family Dinner That Unveiled a Secret One-Night Stand

u/Lickingyourmomsa**: My now-wife and I had been dating for four months when she invited me to join her at a family dinner for her dad's birthday. I had met her parents before, but none of her siblings.

When we got to the table, I immediately recognized her sister from a one-night stand I had the year before. We both just shook hands, said nice to meet you. The first chance her sister and I had a moment alone to speak, we both agreed that it's best not to say a thing about it.

22. My Wife Knew I Was Allergic but She Did It Anyway

u/Dobako: I was the recipient. I had a blood test done that came back showing I was allergic to a bunch of things, milk being one of them.

The reason I had the test done was because I had felt horrible for a couple of months, with stomach pain like you wouldn't believe and trouble doing anything beyond getting from the bed to the toilet to the couch.

My then-fiancée did not believe I was allergic to so many things. Now, none of them were life-threatening unless I took in a massive quantity of it, except maybe shellfish. Still, anyway, she decided to test whether I was actually allergic or if it was a hypochondriac-type response.

So she made me dinner a couple of times and used butter to cook with. She felt horrible when I had that upset stomach the next day. She didn't tell me until a couple of years later, and I was livid.

The worst part was that I had known milk was an allergen before the test, just from trying to drink it and having an immediate reaction. We're good, but it took me a while to stop being mad at her.

23. The Red Wine Deception in Our Relationship

u/hamanthasamantha: My husband thinks I have a favorite red wine. He surprises me with it all the time. Sometimes, he'll go out of his way to find it if our local liquor store is open.

He even called his parents and told them, so there's always my favorite wine available for dinner parties. I hate red wine, but I let it go on too long, and he's so sweet. I'm never going to tell him. Maybe someday I'll love red wine as much as him!

24. I Caught Her Red-Handed

u/Cancel-Button: My significant other hid from me that she would lie on a towel after showering to dry herself off. She hid it for about four months of us living together.

I only found out when she was showering when I had to use the bathroom badly. I opened the door and saw her quickly sit up. Her face was bright red, and her facial expression was that of a child caught with a hand in the cookie jar.

I think lying on a towel to dry yourself off after a shower isn't overly weird, but it is weird enough. I love her, though, with weird drying techniques and all. We laugh about it now.

25. Balancing Love and Burnout

u/SynthsinTrenchcoats: How often do I think about leaving him even though I love him? To answer all your questions: We are both mentally ill, have no job, and have a toddler. And it often feels like I have to do everything alone, like raising two children.

I barely have any me-time, and we don't go out together; I try my best, but I just burn out repeatedly. We don't have much money, but my partner smokes and needs to buy new console games, while all I buy for myself are two facemasks to feel happier.

He burns out so easily, like today after two hours with our kid, while I needed a break after dealing with him all morning (four hours). And I heard him yelling and insulting our kid, which hurt me deeply. We have some good days, which is why I haven't left yet. And no, we have no family or friends to support us with the child.

26. The Sneaky Snuggles That Could Unleash Relationship Drama

u/Bauerle: We have a strict NO DOG IN BED policy at our house for many reasons, one being that the boyfriend is slightly allergic.

However, sometimes, when my boyfriend leaves before me early in the morning, I let our small dog in bed for a pre-work cuddle. My boyfriend would be PISSED if he found out, and I feel betrayed, but I can't stop! Our dog is just so cute!

27. Her Father's Confession Left Me Speechless

u/DeliciousCactus: Her father once told me that if he could go back in time, he would never have dated her mother and had kids with her.

It was shocking to hear that while on vacation with the whole stepfamily. The guy has Asperger's syndrome. After seven years together, the girl left me cold turkey a few months later, and I still didn't even think about telling her that story.

28. Meaty Secrets Unveiled in a Vegetarian Marriage

u/fryanimal12: My Wife is a Vegetarian. Her family has been slipping meat into all the food they cook for her for many years. I knew about it for about ten years before I slipped and told her.

29. Her Mother Tried to Seduce Me

u/46from1971: I posted this before, but I never told my wife that her mother tried to have sex with me. Early in our marriage, we lived with her mother to save money for our own place. Her marriage of 28 years had ended badly, and she was emotionally fragile. She was very drunk and was horrified at what she had done when she sobered up.

I promised not ever to tell my wife, and I never did, even when she and I were fighting near the end of our marriage. Some things are too cruel to do, even when you're trying to hurt each other.

30. My Hate for Dolphins Almost Ended Our Relationship

u/HolyArchitect: That I hate dolphins. My girlfriend at the time was part of Sea Shepherd. She always talked about them and how wonderful they were when she went to Australia.

So, I hid the fact that I hate Dolphins. When I finally told her, it almost ended our relationship. She didn't talk to me for a while, like two days. After explaining to her my reasoning, she told me she didn't like it, but she respected how I felt. I really hate dolphins.

31. It's for the Best If She Doesn't Know About My Past

u/boondockslasher: She doesn't know exactly how bad of a person I used to be before I met her. She knew I was into drugs and some other dumb stuff. But she doesn't know the depths of depravity I delved into to fit in with the people I mistakenly wasted my time with.

32. Long-Distance Job Offer vs. Closer Connection

u/TheKingOfLobsters: I got a call back for a job I didn't get the first time. I've been unemployed for a year, having difficulty finding anything. However, recently I got a great job with a very good salary.

It is, however, on the other end of the country, meaning I will only be home on weekends. It's pretty hard for our relationship to go from living together to only seeing each other on the weekends.

I got an email from a job I was interviewed for about a month ago. I didn't get it back then, but I know they are hiring again and want to see me again. I told them I had another job and was happy with my position.

This other job would be much closer to home, allowing us to keep living together, but the pay is much less and the security much worse. I'm also aware that if our relationship can't stand being away from each other on the weekdays, then I wouldn't last forever anyway.

I recommended the other job to my friend, who is in a similar pickle as I was and in the same line of work. I know my significant other would be very upset if she knew I turned down the opportunity.

33. I Had to Massage His Ego!

u/BarbarianTHEdarian: He wanted to find a shark tooth so badly after I found one at the beach. So I went and bought a small bottle of shark teeth from the gift shop, spread them out all over a strip of beach we were hanging at, and marveled at every shark tooth he brought me. I can never tell him the truth.

34. Debt Disclosure Drama That Nearly Ruined Our Relationship

u/[deleted]: I hid credit card debt from her. It reached $20,000.00, and she got to the mail before me and opened the monthly statement. I had been paying the bills and getting to the mailbox first until that Saturday when I didn't. The ensuing freakout was not good.

35. Her Mother's Death Was a Blessing in Disguise

u/toTheNewLife: Her mother was interfering in our marriage constantly. I had an appointment with a lawyer to talk over options for divorce because I couldn't stand it anymore.

Then, her mother died suddenly from a heart attack. After the funeral, things got better, and here we are, now married for three decades. She doesn't need to know.

36. Navigating Depression in Silence

u/dukeofbun: I remember when we first dated, and I'd be cool and pretty and second guess what I was about to say because I wouldn't want him to judge me harshly.

Now it's all, "I have a bit of eczema on my back, can you put this lotion on it cos I can't reach it." Last year, I had a case of depression, and I never told him, but he became the thing I sort of hung my life on.

I didn't have any internal willpower myself. So, I would use my man as a template or an external motivator. So I would wake up when he woke up because otherwise, I'd lie in bed all day.

I would fix dinners based on his liking because I no longer liked anything. I would plan stuff to do, which I thought he would enjoy because I didn't take any joy in stuff anymore.

I never told him because I didn't want him to feel awkward or any pressure that he has to reciprocate somehow. His being a normal and good person was a lifeline to me, and I don't want him to overthink it.

When I have a bit of a low period, I know I can look to him as a reasonable template for getting it right; even if it is on the surface level, it's enough. It keeps those basic routines going; it gives structure to your day.

Many long-lasting relationships are built on trust and honesty, and sometimes keeping those secrets can do more harm than good. However, there are certain situations where you have to seal your lips for the sake of everyone's peace. As they say, loose lips sink ships.

Imagine if you found yourself in a situation where your mother-in-law tried to seduce you. Would you tell your spouse? I bet that would destroy their relationship. Navigating such delicate waters requires a balance between honesty and protecting the ones you love.