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Engagement ring on woman's finger | Source: Flickr
Engagement ring on woman's finger | Source: Flickr

I Noticed My Future Mother-in-Law Wearing My Future Engagement Ring

Prenesa Naidoo
Dec 26, 2023
08:10 A.M.

Veronika and Nathan are about to take the next step in their relationship: an engagement. Nathan is ready, with the engagement ring bought and left with his mother for safekeeping. But what happens when Veronika sees the ring on her future mother-in-law's finger?

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I know that moms and their sons have special bonds and that moms often feel entitled to things in their sons' lives. I get it. I have two older brothers. But then it happened to Nathan, my boyfriend, and I have never been more bewildered by this bond before.

Nathan and I have been together for the past three years — and it has been the best rollercoaster of our lives. Recently, we have started discussing taking the plunge into marriage. And this was the first time that I realized that I had my entire wedding planned out in my head.

So, Nathan and I discussed what the wedding reception would look like, and I hinted at my wedding dress. We discussed menus — Nathan wants dumplings. Lots of dumplings.

Three dumpling dishes | Source: Unsplash

Three dumpling dishes | Source: Unsplash

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And then, we discussed the all-important engagement ring.

Now, I'm not fussy. I wasn't about to tell him exactly what to get. I only had two requirements.

"Please, not gold and no colored stones. That's all. Everything else is up to you," I said to him.

Nathan, being the sweetheart he is, asked me about my ring size and went looking for the perfect ring. And when he found it, he went straight to his Mom and sister to show them.

Annie, Nathan's sister, texted me saying: You'll love the ring, V! It's so you! Nate gave it to Mom for safekeeping until the day.

Engagement ring in a ring box | Source: Unsplash

Engagement ring in a ring box | Source: Unsplash

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I appreciated that she told me about it because I felt reassured that Nathan and I were on the right track and that the wedding conversations weren't just 'talk.' I also loved that he had that lovely moment with his Mom and sister.

But then, things got a little strange.

I must admit that I had an idea of what the ring looked like because Nathan had left a Tiffany & Co. brochure with three rings circled on the dining table — they were all very similar and equally stunning. I was so excited about the proposal to come.

Photo of Tiffany & Co. with scooters outside | Source: Unsplash

Photo of Tiffany & Co. with scooters outside | Source: Unsplash

Then, we were scheduled to have dinner with Nathan's family. We formed a tradition — dinner with each of our immediate families every other month. We got to the restaurant, and everything was great. It was the perfect evening with delicious food and intimate conversation with the people we loved.

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Until I needed to go to the bathroom, Nathan's Mom, Gloria, tagged along with me.

It was only when we were both done and washing our hands side-by-side that I noticed my ring on her finger. Gloria had always worn her thick gold wedding band, but tonight, it was replaced with one of the rings Nathan had circled in the brochure weeks ago.

Food being served at restaurant | Source: Pexels

Food being served at restaurant | Source: Pexels

I didn't say anything — I didn't want to spoil the evening because it had been lovely until that moment. It was like a punch in the gut, and I couldn't comprehend that this was Gloria's version of "safekeeping."

When we returned to the table, I took a sneaky photo of Gloria wearing my ring; that way, I would have the proof if it ever came up. But it was also clear that neither Nathan nor Annie had noticed their mother wearing it.

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Then, I let it go. I couldn't say anything because Nathan hadn't shown me the ring, and at that time, he hadn't actually proposed.

Woman wearing an engagement ring | Source: Flickr

Woman wearing an engagement ring | Source: Flickr

But it bugged me. Gloria shouldn't have thought it was acceptable to just wear my ring because Nathan had asked her to hold onto it. Still, it wasn't the first time she had overstepped her role. Earlier in the year, Nathan had surprised me with a couple's massage for my birthday, but when Gloria found out about it, she wanted to tag along.

I just wanted to have an experience with Nathan, but he gave in, and I had to take Gloria to the massage.

Person getting a massage | Source: Pexels

Person getting a massage | Source: Pexels

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"Veronika, will you marry me?" Nathan asked, two months after the family dinner.

I said 'Yes' without any hesitation. But the moment he slipped the ring on my finger— the same one that Gloria wore to the dinner — I felt the same gut punch I had that night.

So, I told Nathan about it. I even showed him the photo because I didn't want him to think I was trying to ruin this moment. I just wanted us to be on the same page before entering this new chapter of our lives.

"What? No, that can't be right at all. I showed it to her to keep it safe, but she wouldn't. She couldn't have," he said in disbelief as he squinted at the photo. "I need to talk to her."

A confrontation with Gloria was inevitable. Nathan drove us to his parent's house in silence.

Couple in car | Source: Pexels

Couple in car | Source: Pexels

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"Mom, why were you wearing Veronika's engagement ring? And how long did you wear it for?"

Gloria attempted to muster sympathy from her son.

"I just wanted to feel what it's like," she said, twisting her gold band around her finger. "I've never had an engagement ring, and I had to buy this band for your father to put onto my finger. I just wanted to know what wearing something big and beautiful like Veronika's ring would feel like. I'm sorry, I thought I had the right to it."

She was wearing out Nathan's patience. I could see it in the deep breaths he took. And while I understood his frustration, I did feel a pang of sympathy toward Gloria. Imagine having to buy your own wedding band.

Gold wedding band | Source: Pexels

Gold wedding band | Source: Pexels

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"Mom," Nathan said from his spot on the couch. "This is not about your unfulfilled desires. Veronika and I are starting our life together, and you cannot take precious moments away from us."

And then the waterworks began.

"But Nathan, I deserve to experience these things too. I've sacrificed so much for you. Can't you understand?"

I was torn between my hurt and a growing sense of empathy as the drama unfolded. Sensing my internal struggle, Nathan took my hand, silently reassuring me that we were in this together. He asked Annie to make me a cup of tea because it always soothed my nerves.

Person holding a cup of tea | Source: Pexels

Person holding a cup of tea | Source: Pexels

After that, Gloria seemed to have recovered and understood that there needed to be a clear difference between her bond with Nathan as mother and son and me.

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But the sweet thing was that Gloria pulled me aside just before we left their home.

"Veronika, I'm sorry," she said. "I just wanted to feel a part of something special. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

And I did. We both did.

Mother's Day is around the corner, and Nathan and I have decided to buy Gloria a beautiful ring — not as fancy as my engagement ring, but just to remind her that she is special.

Gold ring | Source: Pixabay

Gold ring | Source: Pixabay

How would you have handled the situation?

Here's another story for you: Bella takes her grandmother's ring off her finger at her funeral as a souvenir to remember her by. One night, she wakes up to discover an intruder in her room. The person is unwilling to leave until they find what they came for.

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