Am I Wrong for Kicking Out My Boyfriend's Mom and Sister Right in Front of Him?

After a woman and her boyfriend settled into their new home, a visit from his mother and sister quickly spiraled into an unexpected situation. In a surprising move, the woman felt compelled to ask them to leave. The lingering mystery: What led to her drastic decision?

On January 10, 2022, an anonymous female poster shared her story in Reddit's "AITA" forum. The Original Poster (OP), aged 25, had been dating her boyfriend, Ryan, 27, for over two years, and they had recently moved in together.

Notably, Ryan hails from an affluent, upper-class family, while she is from a lower-middle-class family. The stark contrast was evident in the family's extravagant lifestyle, complete with imported furniture, pricey artwork, a chef, and a maid. The Original Poster (OP) reflected on the dichotomy, noting he was frugal like her.

The Unwanted Guests

The day before she decided to share her narrative online, OP's boyfriend's mom and sister visited their new home. Greeting them at the front door, the first comment that escaped their lips was a disdainful remark about the size of the house.

The online community received OP's Reddit narrative well, and most commenters deemed her "NTA."

Despite expecting such critiques, Ryan and OP brushed it off, allowing them to enter. However, their guests didn't hold back, swiftly disparaging various aspects of the humble abode—from the lack of artwork to the perceived cheapness of the couches and the hideousness of the countertop. OP recalled, "They went so far as to critique the type of glass used on the shower door."

The intrusion escalated as they ventured into the couple's bedroom. Despite harboring minimal respect for them, OP had anticipated that "they'd at least have the decency to not thoroughly dissect the entire room and just take a quick look. Boy was I wrong."

OP continued her account, detailing the escalating tension during the intrusive visit. The mother and sister's scrutiny extended to the bedroom, with the first comment targeting the bed arrangement. Due to her anemia, OP utilized a main comforter, a sherpa blanket, and a weighted blanket to combat the perpetual cold.

Despite the unconventional appearance of the bed, she defended, "It doesn't look the prettiest but it's OUR room." Attempting to rationalize, OP explained her sleeping preferences, only to face dismissive suggestions.

"They said that I could, at the very least, put them in the closet. I showed them that the closet is already full. They rolled their eyes and mumbled something I couldn't understand," she recollected. The situation intensified when the unwanted guests proceeded to rummage through dresser drawers.

Maintaining composure, OP politely requested they refrain, emphasizing the personal nature of the items within. Accused of having something to hide, she reached her breaking point, deciding, "At that point, I had enough. I asked them to leave."

Despite their dumbfounded expressions, she stood her ground, prompting them to question Ryan's stance. His response was a diplomatic exit strategy, as OP recounted, "He said that it is getting late and they should get going so they don't get home too late."

The Aftermath

After the departure of his mother and sister, Ryan turned to OP, expressing reservations about her decision to ask them to leave. He conveyed that it wasn't her place to take such action and clarified that he had only agreed to avoid an immediate argument.

Ryan emphasized that had she communicated her discomfort, he could have intervened, preventing the confrontation. Defending her stance, OP insisted that the mother and sister be held accountable for their inappropriate behavior, asserting, "They needed to be called out, and [Ryan] wasn't doing that, so I took it upon myself."

Reflecting on the aftermath, OP highlighted the unprecedented nature of the situation. "This is the first argument we've had that hasn't been resolved within a few hours, so I'm wondering if maybe I am in the wrong?" she questioned, uncertain about the implications of her actions on their relationship.

Additionally, OP provided an update on the situation, revealing that she and her boyfriend finally found time to discuss the incident, as both had work commitments. During their conversation, she clarified her discomfort with his mother and sister invading her privacy by going through her drawers.

Emphasizing that since Ryan wasn't addressing the issue, she felt compelled to take matters into her own hands, OP explained that kicking them out was within her rights as she co-owned the house.

Her boyfriend acknowledged the miscommunication, expressing that his comment about it not being her place was poorly phrased. He clarified that he meant he preferred to handle family matters himself.

He agreed that she had every right to expel disrespectful guests, apologized for the misunderstanding, and assured her of his support in future encounters. Ryan also revealed his shock at his family's behavior, apologizing for not intervening and pledging to be more vigilant.

Despite concerns raised by some commenters, OP defended her decision, citing the genuine nature of her boyfriend's explanation and her two-year-long relationship with him, vowing not to end things over this incident hastily.

OP reflected on her efforts with Ryan's family, having endured disrespectful comments without retaliation. She highlighted that, until this incident, Ryan had consistently shut down his family's rude remarks about her. Acknowledging the strategy of picking battles, she shared that Ryan's family had harbored a dislike for her from the start due to her financial status.

Overhearing derogatory remarks like being referred to as "trailer trash," she explained that this was her first direct confrontation with them, as most of the time, confronting them seemed futile.

Despite Ryan usually intervening on her behalf, she expressed confusion over his lack of response this time, considering suggestions that he might be accustomed to such behavior from his family.

Comments from Readers

The online community received OP's Reddit narrative well, and most commenters deemed her "NTA." One user wrote, "NTA - Who the hell goes through the drawers in someone else's house? That's insane behavior. Even if they had been perfect guests up until that point, that act alone is worthy of giving a guest the boot out the door."

"NTA. [It's] your place too. You have every right to kick them out. Bravo on not letting them belittle you. Your bf should grow some balls and defend you and your home. I hope this isn't a sign of how your future looks," said a second person.

"NTA. These people overstepped every boundary by going through your drawers. And please, show this thread to your husband. He also needs to [realize] how badly they behaved. (Also kudos to him for not arguing in front of them! And to you for having a beautiful shiny spine and telling them to go!)," added yet another user.

Was OP right to kick her boyfriend's mom and sister out of the house? What would you do if you were in her place? Click here for another story about a woman who kicked her sister out of the house after witnessing her antics.