Daughter Doesn't Invite Her Dad to Her Wedding but Wants Him to Contribute to It

A man's child has left him out in the cold and is now asking whether he is wrong for hesitating to help her. The pair has a well-balanced father-and-daughter relationship, which now hangs in the balance.

A 55-year-old man revealed on Reddit in 2023 that he was torn as his daughter wanted his help but needed him to keep his distance simultaneously. He feels taken advantage of by her.

The man acknowledged his faults from his previous marriage but found it disturbing that his daughter was pushing him away, although he tried to be there for her however he could.

The Original Poster (OP) revealed that his then-29-year-old daughter was getting married in 2024. The dad has been close with his child since she was young and was an involved parent. He explained:

"But when she was in her teens, I cheated on her mother. My daughter didn't accept the divorce well."

OP's daughter fails to realize that her mother was not perfect in her marriage with her father, although she was the best parent. The father said by mentioning this, it was not his intention to excuse himself from cheating on his former wife, nor was he trying to avoid responsibility for being unfaithful.

"If I had a chance to do things differently, I would've divorced her mother first. It took me years of counseling to get over PTSD from my ex-wife's emotionally abusive behavior," OP expressed.

He did his best to remain a constant fixture in his daughter's life, and because she was old enough at that point, the court did not enforce visitation rights. OP financially supported his child and even paid extra for her extracurricular activities. He was fully involved as much as the child wanted him to be. Often, he would reach out and keep the door open and they catch up from time to time.

At the last meet-up, OP revealed his daughter told him she was getting married. Although he knows about the fiancé, he has not been introduced to him. He further disclosed:

"I won't receive an invite to her wedding. But she asked if I can contribute."

The concerned father admitted his daughter's request rubbed him the wrong way while adding that he wants to be supportive. "But I'm sick of being her wallet," OP expressed. He told his child that he would think about contributing, and she said it would be awful of him if he chose not to do it. This has left OP questioning whether he would be wrong to refuse to chip in.

Online Users React

OP is at odds with himself about helping pay for the wedding. More so, he is frustrated with his daughter and has reached a point where he wants to consider removing her from his will and leaving everything he owns to his nieces and nephews.

However, fellow Reddit users support his choice. They took to the platform to share what they believe should occur concerning him forking out money for wedding costs as his child expects him to step up even though she does not want him there.

One user on the platform wrote: "I think if she tries to invite him after he says no he needs to still say No cause then she’s only inviting him for the cash and doesn’t really want a relationship with him or can tell him later he’s not invited etc."

Another opined that they would attend the wedding without paying anything and see what happens. If all goes well, they would give the couple money at the wedding to support their honeymoon.

Another Redditor believed that the daughter may have no idea that her father has not been forthcoming. The person also stated that his ex might have made herself look like the better parent to have their daughter on her side. The commenter concluded that the OP should be the adult and straighten this out at some point.

Do you think OP was in the wrong for hesitating to help his daughter pay for her wedding? Do you think OP's daughter is being unfair for not inviting him to the wedding yet expecting him to pay for it? What would you have done in your situation?

Read more about a father who refused to pay for his daughter's wedding because she did not invite her brother.