I need some help and advice, I don't know what to do, or what to think. I've been married for six months now, and I am very much in love with my husband.
He has always been such a loving and tender man, always considerate and gentle. This is part of what drew me to him because I was raised in a very complicated family, and my father was often verbally abusive to my mother though he never actually hit her.
Two nights ago my husband came home from work and I could see that he was edgy and irritable which is unusual for him. I had set the table with candles and flowers because it was our six month anniversary, and I'd made a special dish with spicy noodles and mushrooms and shrimp, all things he loves.
He sat down and looked at the food as I served him and he looked very angry, Then he tasted it and asked me what did I think I was doing all day that I dared serve him 'shit', I just said I'd wanted to try something new I had thought he'd like.
He started screaming and asking since when did I imagine thinking was my strong suit, and he picked up his dish and threw it at the wall, then he threw the casserole and the bottle of wine. I was so shocked I couldn't speak.
I started crying and he grabbed my arm and threw me at the wall and told me to clean up the 'shit' and he said it was all my fault for being a useless stupid, ugly, fat bitch.
Please, I don't know what to do. He became a man I don't know, and I've never seen before. He left me there and went out, so I cleaned up and went to bed.
He came home later and lay down without a word of apology. He then initiated sex, and I was too frightened to refuse, but it was awful. It felt like rape, not like my beloved husband making love to me.
He has said nothing since then as if that night had never happened, and I don't know what to do.
Should I confront him? Ask for an explanation? Demand an apology? My heart is broken, all my illusions are in tatters. My impulse is to run, go away and never come back. I don't know who he is, or who I am that I let him abuse me like that. Please, please help me, I am so lost.
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