I was desperate to have a baby, now my husband is in love with our surrogate

Manuela Cardiga
Apr 13, 2018
01:48 P.M.
Share this pen

Dear AmoMama,


I can't believe I'm actually writing to some anonymous people for advice. No-one in my life seems to understand what I'm going through.

I was a State beauty queen and one of the finalists for Miss America, and I moved into fashion modeling, so my looks were my greatest asset. I met my husband a few years ago, at around the time my modeling career was coming to an end.

He is a very wealthy man, and he was very much in love with me. He has always indulged me in every way and I've had everything and anything I ever wanted. Two years ago he told me he wanted us to have a baby, and since I am now in my late thirties and he is close to fifty, he felt it was time we settled down and started our family.


Frankly, I couldn't very well refuse, but I also didn't want to risk my figure, my looks. I suggested we get a surrogate and have my ova fertilized with his sperm in vitro, which is what everyone does nowadays?

He was very much against it at first, but my doctor - who knows which side his bread is buttered! - pointed out that it would be safer for me at my age. My husband agreed, and we interviewed a few potential surrogates.

We ended up settling for a woman around my age who had had 3 children of her own already, and my husband's lawyers sorted out all the financial and contractual details.

To make a long story short, after an awful, painful and humiliating ordeal of getting injected, and pricked and prodded and getting my eggs harvested, the thing was done and the woman was implanted.


My husband insisted on being there, took her flowers. I thought we'd just show up at the end of the nine months to pick up the child? Ok, maybe phone once in a while? But my husband went with her to every single doctor's appointment, and he insisted on being there for the ultrasounds, and he phoned her every day. He started taking her little things he said she 'craved'? I didn't like it at all.

So a week ago, I decided to show up at the OB's for her 7-month check up, unannounced. He was with her in the waiting room, holding her hand, touching her huge disgusting swollen body? And he wasn't happy to see me at all.

He was very unpleasant to me when he got home because he claimed I'd been rude and 'pedantic' -his word! - and he said I was disgusting, selfish and vanity personified. He told me I was ugly! ME?


Then he said he is in love with that creature, that walking uterus we hired! He said he is divorcing me, and marrying the mother of his child, and that I was no more relevant than an anonymous sperm donor. 

I am so shocked, so hurt and so angry! How dare he! I am beautiful, his hostess, his pride! He told me that many times: He was proud I was his wife.

How can I make him see that he is just obsessed with the baby inside her? That I'm his child's mother. That baby he loves will look like ME, not that trailer trash nobody.

How can I make him realize that it is me he loves, that I suffered so he could have the child he wants for his legacy? Me, not some fat broodmare?

If you need help or advice, reach out to us, and thousands of women just like you who are struggling with the difficulties of life. You are not alone, we are here for you, and we listen; so write to us anonymously using this form.