I think my husband has a disturbing parallel life. Should I confront him?

Manuela Cardiga
Apr 17, 2018
01:08 P.M.
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Dear AmoMama,


I have been married for eight months and have just made a very disturbing discovery that makes me doubt my whole relationship.

My husband and I have always had a good and what I think of as very normal sex life, and he never made any unusual requests. In fact, I have always thought of him as being very conservative.

We have bought a new house, and we had a lot of our things from our single days in storage packed away in boxes. Now I've started unpacking and I found a box with some very strange photos and paraphernalia inside.

The photos are all polaroids and show several women, some in masks, wearing what I believe to be bondage outfits. There are also some objects and instruments in the box that are being used by the women in the photos. I won't go into details, but the photos are very sordid.


In one of the photos, the hand of the man doing some strange things to one of the women is visible, and it is my husband's hand.

I would not have been surprised to find Playboys or girly magazines, or even old-fashioned porn - after all, most men have those - but this is different. It feels quite ugly.

I find it hard to reconcile my husband with those images, those objects. I love this man, make love with him and don't even know who he is.

I just don't know what to do. Perhaps I should just throw that box away, pretend I never saw it and that it never existed and carry on as before; but I can't. Every time I look at my husband, look at his hands I remember it. I haven't been able to have sex with him since. I just can't.


Should I confront him with this? If this is part of his past, he owes me no explanation. But what if he is still involved in this? Is he living a parallel life I know nothing about? The doubt is destroying me. I don't know him, and I don't know what to do.

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