My husband left me when I was 6 months pregnant

Dear AmoMama,

I am so devastated I don't even know how to explain this to myself. It all seems like a bad dream. I've been married for 2 years and I genuinely thought we were happy. 

I met my husband at a convention and we just hit it off. I was hesitant to take him seriously because he is 10 years older than me, very handsome and very successful. But he pursued me and wooed me until I gave in. Three months later we were married.

It was like a dream come true. It was like a movie. And then he said he wanted us to have a child. This was his big dream, he said. His first wife had been sterile, and the pressure had destroyed their marriage. 

So I agreed, and we got pregnant. I was so happy. He was so happy. Every night he'd kiss my tummy, speak to the baby tell her stories and I thought I was the luckiest woman in the world.

Two weeks ago he went on a business trip to Chicago, which is his hometown. He called me when he arrived, then nothing. After two days of getting no answers to my calls or my texts, I called my mother-in-law who he was supposedly staying with. He wasn't there, she said, she knew nothing.

That night I got a text telling me that he was divorcing me, that his lawyer would be contacting me. He told me he discovered he still loved his ex-wife, and he is going back to her.

I have his baby inside me, the thing he wanted most in the world and he is leaving me. My baby will be born in three months time and I'm alone.

His lawyer came to me, told me my husband will give me anything, everything if I hand over my baby when she is born. I don't know what to do, it's hard to breathe.

I want him to die, I want him dead for stealing my joy from me. Please, my sisters, please how can I live like this? How can I believe in anything ever again?

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