July 19, 2018

My husband told me a woman kissed him on the lips. Should I forgive him?

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Dear AmoMama,

I don't know if I'm justified in feeling this way, or if I'm being a suspicious, unhinged woman. My husband and I had a 4th of July barbecue and invited all our friends, our family and some of the neighbors. 

We've done this every year we've been married and that makes it 10. We've always been a close loving couple and I've always considered my husband my best friend.

Anyway, we had over 50 people in our house trooping in and out eating and talking and it was this big messy confusion and went into the kitchen to get some ice and my neighbor's daughter 'Keshia' was coming out. My husband was in there, and he had lipstick smeared all over his mouth.

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He was very flustered and embarrassed and started to stammer and blush and said that 'Keshia' had kissed him on the mouth and that he had pushed her away. He said it was disgusting and he felt harassed.

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'Keshia' is 24, and I've known this girl since she was 14 and to be honest, I've never liked her much. She's always been pert and very forward with the boys, almost uncomfortably flirty. 

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I hadn't even invited her, she just came with her parents. I know I should be thankful my husband is such an honest man, but things keep riling me. I can't let go of the silly incident.

Why was there lipstick smeared all around his mouth like that? It wouldn't get that way from a lunging, unwanted kiss. She kissed him, and I keep imagining he didn't push her away, I keep imagining him opening his mouth to her, tasting her, enjoying it. 

I keep seeing her walking out of that kitchen and now I am imagining that I remember her smiling at me, smirking like a child who stole candy and has eaten the evidence.

I keep imagining that scene over and over, and it's driving me mad. I have no real reason to believe he is lying to me. I need to put was is just a silly meaningless incident behind me and I just can't.

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Am I being as irrational and crazy and paranoid as I sound even to myself? I don't want my insecurity and my jealousy to ruin my marriage. I've even thought about confronting the girl, demanding the truth, but the idea of hearing my suspicions confirmed petrifies me.

Please, please help me to get this into perspective before I destroy my marriage and ruin my life. I need some good sensible advice, please. 

If you need help or advice, reach out to us, and thousands of women just like you who are struggling with the difficulties of life. You are not alone, we are here for you, and we listen; so write to us anonymously using this form.

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