My son won't let me meet his girlfriend but sneaks her into the house behind my back

Dear AmoMama,

I've messed up, I know that, but I need to find a way to make things right with my son, and I need help.

I am 47-years old, and have been divorced for 16 years. My son is now 18, and I have built my life around him.

I know in some measure it's because I nearly lost him to cancer when he was 5, so I am perhaps a little overprotective and controlling.

I've always insisted on meeting his friends, knowing what's going on with him. I'm lucky because he's this really amazing boy, a straight As student, and a good athlete.

A few weeks ago I picked up on something different about him, and I asked what was going on, and he said everything was cool, no news.

I went into his facebook and saw he was talking with some girl from his high school until all hours of the night, and they didn't seem to be "just good friends."

Last Saturday, he came in quite late, and somehow the noises he made climbing the stairs were different. So I waited a while and went upstairs to see if he was alright. I couldn't hear anything except music, so I walked in,

My son was sitting on the bed kissing this girl. When he saw me, his face went dead white. I had never seen such an expression of anger on his face. He told me to get out and show some manners and respect next time I walked into his room.

I was utterly humiliated but worse was to come. The next day he came to me and told me he couldn't believe my behavior, so I yelled at him and said that if he told me stuff I wouldn't have to go poking through his messages and walk into his room unannounced.

He went ballistic and told me he is going to ask his father if he can go live with him. I've never seen him so angry, and I know he is right, but he won't listen to my apology.

How can I make him see that I'm sorry and will work hard to change? Please help me, I don't want to lose my son.

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