August 16, 2018

Priest is privy to jokes regarding his religious commitment

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One may think that religion is all too serious. But it is not immune to jokes.

Here are three jokes that will surely crack you up.

1. The drunk guy

A drunk staggered into a Catholic Church, entered a confessional booth, sat down, but said nothing. The Priest coughed a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continued to sit there.

Finally, the Priest pounded three times on the wall. The drunk mumbled, "Ain't no use knockin'! There's no paper on this side either!"

Source: Freepik

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2. The confession

A senior man went to a church to confess.

"Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old," he said.

The Priest then asked him when was the last time he confessed.

"I never have, I am Jewish."

"Then why are telling me all this?"

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The old man replied, "I'm telling everybody!"

Source: Freepik

3. He was not a member of the church

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During an impassioned sermon about death and final judgment, the pastor said forcefully, "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgment."

Glancing down at the front pew, he noticed a man with a big smile on his face. The minister repeated his point louder. "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgment!"

The man nodded and smiled even more. This really got the preacher wound up. He pounded the pulpit emphatically when he came to the ultimatum: "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgment!"

Source: Freepik

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Though everyone else in the congregation was looking somber, the man in front continued to smile. Finally, the preacher stepped off the platform, stood in front of the man and shouted, "I said each member of this church is going to die!"

The man grinned from ear to ear. After the service was over, the preacher made a beeline for the man. "I don't get it," the preacher said in frustration.

"Whenever I said, 'Each member of this church is going to die,' your smile got bigger. Why?"

"I'm not a member of this church," the man replied.

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