If I leave town to be with my terminally ill fianceé I will lose my kids

The following letter has been edited for clarity and coherence.

Dear AmoMama,

I fell in love and I am engaged to a guy who just found out he has cancer.

He has to move out of state for a specialist to prolong his life a little. My problem is that I have two kids and by law, I can't leave the town I live in because that's where my abusive ex-husband lives. If I leave I have to forfeit my kids.

What do I do? Move with my him and be with him through this hard time or do I stay for my kids.

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Dear Subscriber,

You are divided between your love for your fianceé and your love for your children. The man you love needs your support in his fight against a deadly disease, but in order to be with him, you feel you will lose your children.

It is indeed a heartrending conundrum. The ideal, of course, would be to come to a sensible agreement with your ex-husband, redefining the custody of the children.

Before you tear yourself apart in despair, try to find out what your legal options are. Could you ask the court for permission to take your children with you out of the state? Contact a lawyer, and research the pertinent State and Federal laws.

Be strong, be happy, be yourself.

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