The following letter has been edited for clarity and coherence.
Hello there. I have a boyfriend and have been living with him for 9 years.
He is so caring, loving and respectful of me. Unlike others who always get hurt and cheated on. In my situation, I do not have a problem with his loyalty, but he doesn't have a job and I am the one who's supporting our needs.
Until one day I felt like I want to experience what other girls feel when their boyfriends buy them dresses or expensive things, eat out together and the guy is the one who's paying.
My boyfriend cannot help me financially. I noticed later on that I get irritated easily and decided to break up with him.
He was really hurt and saw his tears. But I am sick of this cycle of life with him. He cannot find a job. I do not know what to do please help me. Thank you.
Yours is a sad and difficult situation. On the one hand, you have a man who loves and respects you and whom you trust; on the other you feel that the weight of the financial responsibility hanging on your shoulders is crushing you.
The question you need to ask yourself is: Do you love this man?
YES, you are carrying the financial burden alone - and NO! It is neither easy nor fair. But will you get the same love and caring from a man with more money who will treat you to "expensive things" and pay for dinner out?
The responsibility is putting a strain on your relationship, so perhaps you might consider sitting down with him and telling him you need him to pull his weight.
He can find a part-time job to start with, to help with the bills. Think about talking to a couple's therapist, and try to make him see the toll this is taking on you.
Be strong, be happy, be yourself.
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