'My husband died and my son started selling our things for his drug habit'

Dear AmoMama,

I am still mourning my late husband as I write this and recently I have started wishing I was dead too. My husband and I had our only child very late in life. I was almost forty when he arrived. We were financially secure and our son didn't want for anything.

Recently, my husband died and my son started selling our things for his drug habit. It started off as one or two small items, kitchen things, an old mobile phone, but over time it has gotten worse.

My son had a bit of drug problem in high school and has been in minor trouble before. But I think his problems are getting bigger and I don't know how to handle them.

My husband was a good father and he took care of our son in a way that I can't. After our boy was caught with marijuana at school, his father put him on a strict discipline program and made sure he did chores and homework in the afternoons instead of hanging out with a bad crowd.

He eventually thrived and turned everything around maintaining a 4.0 GPA and finally being admitted into the college of his choice. Now, after a year of college, his dad's untimely passing has proved a setback he just can't seem to deal with.

All of a sudden the sweet boy that gave me so much comfort during the funeral and in the week after has stopped attending classes and is in contact with his old friends again, disappearing for days on end only to return for food or money, or something he can sell.

He has not been violent with me, we hardly speak. I'm left wringing my hands while he rummages around in the attic or basement for antiques that he can pawn. I have begged and pleaded but to deaf ears.

The other day I came home from church to find my late husband's piano was gone. Gone! All those years spent listening to my dear husband play, all the memories of him serenading me during our courtship, or backing me up when I sang lullabies to our new baby.

I crumbled to the floor and just broke down and cried. I asked the Lord why I was being punished like this and for him to take me too. I was so hurt, it was like the last piece of my husband had been taken from me.

I locked my son out of my house and called the police. I told them I had been robbed and I knew who had done it. I asked them to arrest him and put him in jail.

Maybe in jail, he can get clean and become my son again. Maybe he will grow into the man his father believed he could be because right now my heart is broken and I don't want him in my house anymore.

I know I don't sound like a very good mother. Did I act too harshly? I wish my husband was here to take charge of this situation. He always knew the right thing to do.

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