I gave birth to my first son seven months ago, and I couldn’t be happier. My fiancé and I were talking about having our wedding in the next four months, but now I think our plans need to be rescheduled because I’m pregnant again.
The thing is that I’m barely holding it together with my first child. This second pregnancy was definitely not planned, and I’m scared for many reasons.
First, I had a c-section, and according to my doctor, I should have waited at least a year to conceive again. I’ve been reading some blogs, and it seems like the experience changes from woman to woman, but I’m afraid about having some complications if my uterus still hasn’t healed properly.
Second, what am I going to do with a newborn and a 1-year-old child? My sister says that is good for the kids to be so close in age because they can entertain each other once they start growing, and I agree, but I’ll still have to deal with changing diapers and breastfeeding a baby while looking out for my firstborn. I wanted to keep breastfeeding him for about a year, but I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to feed two kids at once.
My fiancé is always working, and I’m thankful for that because there’s no way we could afford having two kids so close to each other if it wasn’t for his job. But it scares me to death being alone with only two hands and so much room for disaster.
I know I’m probably freaking out without reasons, but I don’t think I’m ready for this. It drives me crazy to think that I’m going to be a bad mom to either of my kids... that I’m going to neglect one of them inevitably because all my attention is going to be on one of them for a while.
Of course, newborns need more attention overall, so I’m thinking of sending my eldest baby boy with my parents in the first months of life of the new baby. Yes, it’s a bad idea because then my son is probably going to resent his brother or sister, but I have been considering every possibility to make this journey easy for all of us.
I haven’t voiced my worries to my fiancé. He’s happy about being a father of two, even if our budget is a bit tight. I can’t bring myself to shatter his bubble with all my unnecessary worries.
I need a second opinion, what do you think? Has anyone here gotten pregnant soon after having another child? Do you have any advice for me? Please, help a girl stop freaking out.
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