March 19, 2019
A preacher, during his Sunday morning sermon was bewildered by an elderly woman’s view of forgiveness. Her reply to the preacher’s question will leave you amazed.
It was Sunday and the Preacher’s sermon hinged on forgiveness. He gave a long sermon to the congregation on why it is good to forgive one’s enemies, telling them that as good Christians they should imbibe the virtue of forgiveness.
At the end of his sermon, the preacher asked the congregation how many of them were willing to forgive their enemies. Half of the congregation raised their hands. The preacher was left unimpressed about the number of hands raised and went on another preaching spree for about twenty minutes.
When he finished, he repeated his previous question, and this time eighty percent of the congregation raised their hands. The preacher was still left unimpressed and preached on for another fifteen minutes.
When he asked the question the third time, the congregation were all hungry and thinking about Sunday lunch. Hence they all raised their hands, all except one. An elderly woman wouldn’t raise her hands. The surprised preacher called on to her, and the following conversation ensued:
“Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”
“I don’t have any.”
“How old are you?”
The preacher then told the elderly woman to walk to the front of the congregation and tell them how it is possible for her to have lived to such an age and have no enemy.
The woman walked slowly but sweetly to the front of the congregation. When she got there she said:
“It’s easy. I just outlived the bitches.”
If you enjoyed that joke, there is time for just another one for your enjoyment:
A preacher was preaching to the congregation about temperance. He went about his sermon with much energy and then said,
“If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”
Going on he said with greater emphasis,
“If I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”
Not finished with that, the preacher continued,
“And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”
Finally, the preacher was done and took his seat.
It was now time for the choir to sing the closing hymn, and with a pleasant smile on his face, the choirmaster announced the closing hymn thus:
“Let us sing Hymn Number 365: ‘Shall we gather at the River.’
I hope you enjoyed the joke of the day. Catch you up later. Cheers.