Three Women Die and Go to Heaven Where St Peter Tells Them There's Only One Rule
When you enter the pearly gates of heaven, you're probably expecting total freedom and happiness. Yet in this case, there was one rule in heaven that had serious repercussions.
Three women happened to die and go to heaven at the same time. Upon arrival, St. Peter spoke to them at the gates. Donned in his white robe, he told the women they can go in but must be aware of one thing.
"We have just one rule here in heaven: you absolutely must not step on the ducks!"
The women proceed into heaven and, quite absurdly, notice that ducks litter the ground. They're all over. It's nearly impossible to avoid stepping on one.
Though they try, one of the women quickly finds herself stepping on a duck. St. Peter comes to her accompanied by the ugliest man she's ever seen in her life.
St Peter chains the man and the woman together and declares to her: "Your punishment for stepping on the duck is to spend eternity with this man!"
The following day, another of the women falters and also steps on the duck. Again, St. Peter goes to her with an even uglier man than the first. He chains the two together and tells her the same thing he did the first.
The third woman sees all this happen and takes extra precaution to avoid stepping on ducks. Somehow, she goes for months without doing so, and finally St. Peter comes to her.
He has with him the most gorgeous man the woman has ever seen. St. Peter doesn't say anything, but he chains them together and goes on his way. The woman is elated.
"I wonder what I did to deserve this reward of being chained to you forever?" She asks. The guy responds: "I have no idea, but I stepped on a duck!"
Another heavenly joke happened when a woman suffered a heart attack and arrived before God. Thinking she was finished on earth, she asked God, "Am I dying?"
"No," God answers. "You will live for another 40 years, three months, and 13 days." He snapped his fingers and the woman returned to life.
Considering what she just went through, she is determined to live out the rest of her life making the most of it. She colors her hair, gets a surgical facelift, and does a tummy tuck to improve her looks.
When she's done with surgery, she steps out of the building and on to the road. A passing car instantly kills her and she goes back to heaven. This time, she's angry at God.
"What just happened?!" she asks. "What? You died," God replies, wary of her attitude and clueless as to the reason. The woman cried:
"You said I would live another 40 years!"
"Oh," God reflected before answering, "I didn't recognize you."
Another joke involving three women took place in 1827 when the women were returning home to their farming village. As they chatted among themselves, they heard someone mumbling nearby.
They investigated and found that the sound was coming from a mud puddle. In it, a naked man lay with his face down in the puddle. The first woman suggested it might be someone from the village.
The second woman agrees and they decide to help the man. Unable to determine who it is, the third and oldest women encouraged them to turn the man over.
They do so but the man's face is covered in mud. Their eyes go downwards, and soon after the first women shakes her head. "He is not my husband, that's for sure!" she says.
The second woman also looks over and has a similar response. As for the third, she takes a closer look before straightening up and admitting, "Don't worry girls, he's not even from our village."