20 Funny Feline One-Liners That Any Cat Owner Will Relate To
Today the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy!
- A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov’s dogs and Schrodinger’s cat. The librarian says, “It rings a bell, but I don’t know whether it’s there or not”
- What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws, and the other has the clause before the pause.
- I saw a big cat wearing a very colorful hat and cape the other day. I think it was a dandy lion.
- Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he’s in a lousy mewd.
- I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. He looks like a leopard now.
- My lion impression went down well — a roaring success.
- I wonder why a cat’s favorite song is Three Blind Mice.
- What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.
- Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. He was a lion thief.
- Nothing more refreshing to a cat on a hot day, than a mice cream cone.
- Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies.
- The best way a cat knows how to keep law & order is with Claw Enforcement.
- Nothing better to a cat after a fight, than to hiss and make up.
- What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
- Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
- Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of its bark!
- If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.
- I’m a whisker away from completing my model of a cat.
- What is crunchy and says meow? A bis-cat.
- I went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. They didn’t all bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lion’s share.
Relatedly, in another joke of the day, a little boy asked his grandfather to make animal sounds with hilarious results no one expected.