20 Funny Feline One-Liners That Any Cat Owner Will Relate To

Today the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy!

• A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov’s dogs and Schrodinger’s cat. The librarian says, “It rings a bell, but I don’t know whether it’s there or not”
• What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws, and the other has the clause before the pause.
  

  Source: Giphy.

• I saw a big cat wearing a very colorful hat and cape the other day. I think it was a dandy lion.
• Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he’s in a lousy mewd.
• I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. He looks like a leopard now.
• My lion impression went down well — a roaring success.
  

  Source: Giphy.

• I wonder why a cat’s favorite song is Three Blind Mice.
• What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.
• Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. He was a lion thief.
• Nothing more refreshing to a cat on a hot day, than a mice cream cone.
  

  Source: Giphy.

• Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies.
• The best way a cat knows how to keep law & order is with Claw Enforcement.
• Nothing better to a cat after a fight, than to hiss and make up.
• What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
  

  Source: Giphy.

• Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
• Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of its bark!
• If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.
• I’m a whisker away from completing my model of a cat.
  

  Source: Giphy.

• What is crunchy and says meow? A bis-cat.
• I went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. They didn’t all bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lion’s share.

Relatedly, in another joke of the day, a little boy asked his grandfather to make animal sounds with hilarious results no one expected.