Source: Shutterstock.
Source: Source: Shutterstock.

20 Funny Feline One-Liners That Any Cat Owner Will Relate To

Odette Odendaal
Jun 06, 2019
06:54 P.M.
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Today the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy!

  • A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov’s dogs and Schrodinger’s cat. The librarian says, “It rings a bell, but I don’t know whether it’s there or not”
  • What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws, and the other has the clause before the pause.

    Source: Giphy.

  • I saw a big cat wearing a very colorful hat and cape the other day. I think it was a dandy lion.
  • Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he’s in a lousy mewd.
  • I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. He looks like a leopard now.
  • My lion impression went down well — a roaring success.

    Source: Giphy.

  • I wonder why a cat’s favorite song is Three Blind Mice.
  • What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.
  • Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. He was a lion thief.
  • Nothing more refreshing to a cat on a hot day, than a mice cream cone.

    Source: Giphy.

  • Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies.
  • The best way a cat knows how to keep law & order is with Claw Enforcement.
  • Nothing better to a cat after a fight, than to hiss and make up.
  • What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.

    Source: Giphy.

  • Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
  • Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of its bark!
  • If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.
  • I’m a whisker away from completing my model of a cat.

    Source: Giphy.

  • What is crunchy and says meow? A bis-cat.
  • I went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. They didn’t all bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lion’s share.

Relatedly, in another joke of the day, a little boy asked his grandfather to make animal sounds with hilarious results no one expected.