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June 22, 2019

Woman Who Experienced Bulimia at 11 Reveals She's Happier Than Ever at 300-Lb

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Suma Jane Dark, a photographer and blogger who had bulimia when she was younger, admitted to being happier now at 300 pounds.

The 32-year-old Instagram star, from Portland, Oregon, revealed that she used to feel depressed when she was growing up as people often labeled her as a “fat child.” Even her parents tried their best to make her lose weight by sending her to fat camps during the summers.

Suma pointed out that she was always active and athletic as she would often compete on dancing, gym, and swimming teams. However, she never looked like the rest of the children, and it made her and her parents ashamed.

“It was a constant source of depression and shame for me, as long as I can remember,” she said.

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BEING MISTREATED WHILE GROWING UP

When she was seven years old, her parents started sending her to fat camps to take care of her weight. The pressure Suma felt was so significant that she could only feel panic with the possibility of not being able to control her body.

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Unfortunately, she started struggling with bulimia at the age of 11, but instead of seeing it as a curse, she saw it as a blessing as it was the "best diet" possible. About the difficulties Suma faced as a child, she said:

“There is no time in my life that I can look back on and remember looking like other children or wearing the same clothes. It was a constant source of depression and shame for me, as long as I can remember.”

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The adults around her didn’t help with her self-esteem, though, as they would usually tell her that, if she lost weight, she would have a bright future and look a lot prettier.

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DRUGS, DIET PILLS, WORKING OUT AND RESTRICTING DIETS

Suma kept throwing up during her youth and, by her early 20s, she started using a mixture of drugs, diet pills, hours of working out, and extreme restrictions to stay smaller. Doing that, Suma would lose more than 100 pounds but gain them right away.

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By 2009, she weighed 135lb but hated her body. Apart from that, she was living in a “miserable house share” and knew that her life had to get better as soon as possible. The first step to do so was accepting her body.

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STARTING TO ACCEPT HER BODY

Through the Internet, she started setting up support groups for plus size people with eating disorders and even followed bloggers that shared body positive messages on social media. After a while, Suma had learned that there are several people with her problem and that body positivity was for all of them regardless of their sizes.

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“We were all encouraged to stay ill by everyone - our doctors, our loved ones. The common threads between us were that we all had such a difficult time getting help, and we all were coming to realize that maybe our bodies weren’t the real problem,” Suma admitted.

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TRYING TO HELP OTHERS THROUGH INTERNET

Nowadays, she is 32 years old, and even though she still struggles with her eating disorder, she is proud of weighing 300lb. Suma is no longer ashamed of her body and usually wears outfits out of her comfort zone to post body positive messages for her more than 32,000 followers on Instagram.

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“The work that I do is very much guided by my desire to see all of us freed from the toxic, painful narratives that we’re forced to internalize and for us all to be able to appreciate and support each other as we are,” she revealed.

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Suma also said that she has been working on the “self-hate thoughts” she used to feel when she saw a part of her body “I don’t particularly love.”

At the moment, her message for all people who once struggled with a similar situation, like 54-year-old Lisa Annunziata who lost 120lb and was ashamed of her overweight, is to let their hearts lead them and move in the direction of the life that they want to live.

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