July 08, 2019
Making assumptions is a terrible thing, and jumping to conclusions after doing that is even worse. The following hilarious fictitious story shows us how dangerous it is to do either.
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.
One day, two boys spent the afternoon filling up a bucketful of nuts and then, when it started growing dark, they sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing them out to take home.
"One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Two pecans in a boy's hand. | Source: Pixabay
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery.
He slowed down to investigate, and sure enough, he heard,
"One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me ...."
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend, he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here, quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I just heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!"
The man said, "Beat it, kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery with him.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
Cemetery at night. | Source: Pexels
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can get a glimpse of the Lord...!"
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to see the Lord.
At last, they heard, "One for you, one for me. Well, that's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...."
They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him. Did this story make you laugh? Share it with your friends.
No cemetery marker for Beth Chapman as the Hawaiian memorial after her passing saw her family slip away to spread her ashes in the water of Waikiki, as per her wishes.
Chapman passed away after battling cancer for an extended period of time. She asked to be honored Hawaiian-style and for her millions of fans to have access to her memorial.
During the very public memorial service at Fort DeRussy Beach Park, her husband Duane “Dog” Chapman and their blended family went out to sea and laid her to rest.
The family plan to live-stream the second memorial in her home town of Colorado on July 13.