July 23, 2019
There are different types of intelligence, and with that in mind, we bring you today’s joke of the day where a dog’s life might not be so bad after all.
Mark regularly shopped at Spencer’s Speciality Store. Impressed with Mr. Spencer’s business savvy, intelligence, and quick wit, Mark decided to find out his secret. “What makes you so smart, Mr. Spencer?” Mark asked.
“I don’t share my secrets with just anyone, but since you’ve been a loyal customer for over 20 years, I will tell you,” Mr. Spencer replied while he ushered them to a quiet corner in the store.
“Fish heads and beetroot,” Mr. Spencer whispered once they got out of earshot of others. “Eat enough of that, and you will become positively brilliant.”
Mark saw that Mr. Spencer had plenty of both in-stock and decided only to buy three of each. However, a few days later Mark returned positively unhappy about the results.
“The smell is ghastly, everything is stained red, and I’m not any smarter,” Mark complained. “Well, then you didn’t eat enough,” Mr. Spencer replied.
With renewed enthusiasm, Mark bought thirty of each but returned again three weeks later under a cloud of anger. “You sold me fish heads for $5 apiece and beetroot at $2 each when I can buy all of that at the local market for $3; you are ripping me off!” Mark fumed.
“Aww, relax Mark,” Mr. Spencer replied, “See, you are smarter already!”
As the time approached for the butcher to close for the day, a dog with a basket in its jaws came pushing through the door.
Intently the butcher watched the dog as it walked over to him, bumping the basket hard into the butcher’s shins. As the butcher bent over to grab his legs in pain, he noticed a ten-dollar bill and a note in the basket.
“Please send three pounds of your best ground beef,” the note read. Figuring that no one would notice, the butcher went for the dried up ground beef he had out on display.
But as the butcher reached for it, the dog started growling. “Alright,” the butcher said as he eyed the dog.
Having measured out almost three pounds, the butcher decided to wrap it up anyway. “A bit shy, but who will know,” he chuckled out loud. But again the dog growled at him.
Promptly the butcher added a generous amount, which he wrapped and dropped in the basket along with the change. After the dog left, the butcher decided to follow him home after his intelligent display in his shop.
The butcher followed the dog to a quaint little house, but as soon as the door opened, the butcher heard the owner screaming at the dog. “Why are you shouting at your dog like that, do you know how smart your dog is?” the butcher asked.
Annoyed the dog’s owner replied, “No, he is stupid; it's the third time this week, he’s forgotten his key.”
Another topic known to have generated its fair share of jokes is men and their cars. Another joke of the day featured a funny compilation about things that can go wrong with a man’s precious mode of transportation.
April 27, 2019