August 12, 2019
Here’s a family joke that will keep you laughing all day.
A young man named George burst into the living room where his parents were watching TV.
"Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan,” he said, his face blushing at the thought of his fiancé.
His parents were surprised, but more so his father. After dinner, his father took him aside and told him, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she's a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot."
Then his father dropped the bomb, "Susan is actually your half-sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her."
George could not believe what he heard. He was brokenhearted. Eight months later, he started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June."
Again, his concerned father took him aside for another private conversation. He told his son, "Diane is your half-sister too, George. I'm awfully sorry about this."
The love-struck young man felt like the world crumbled under his feet. Then he was livid. He finally decided to go to his mother and told her his father’s secrets.
"Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister."
"Hee hee," his mother chuckled, shaking her head, "Don't pay any attention to what he says. He's not really your father."
What a twist!
Here’s another side-splitting joke.
asked her mother to get her a long nightie in preparation for her wedding night. She cheerily described the robe saying it must be pretty, reach about her calf at least and be black color.
Then she instructed her mother to carefully place the nightie in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle before the night of her wedding.
Unfortunately, her mother forgot and did nothing about it until the very last minute! The older woman hurriedly visited the mall but could only find skimpy pink lingerie. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
After the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds enter their hotel room. But the groom became rather timid. He demanded that his new wife change her clothes in the bathroom and also made her promise not to sneak a peek while he changed.
While in the bathroom, the bride opened her suitcase and finally beheld her mother’s handiwork.
“Oh, no! It's short, pink, and wrinkled!"
She exclaimed in horror. Then her groom cried out,
"I told you not to peek!"
Source: Tech Republic