Police officers have a tough job. They have to respond to all sorts of violence and downright hilarious decoys. Here are a couple of jokes about police officers doing the duty with hilarious endings.
A police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. When he arrived on the scene, the "disturbance" was a giant man standing over six feet tall. The man was intoxicated and was causing a ruckus.
The officer walked in with one hand on his handcuffs to arrest the man. As he walked closer, the man seemed to get bigger and bigger. It was almost like he was walking towards a mountain.
"Is there a problem here?" the officer asked, suppressing his fears. "The bar guy says I'm the problem," the giant said. "Are you going to do something about it? I can whip you and the heavyweight boxing champion around if I wanted to."
Seeing the intoxicated state, the police officer said, "I bet you're an escape artist too. Probably better than that, Houdini fellow." The man broadened his chest and said, "Of course, nothing can bind me."
The officer sighed and said, "If only I had some chains, I could see you in action, but all I have are these flimsy handcuffs. It'd be too easy." The man said, "Cuff me, I'll get out of those cuffs in no time."
The giant struggled for a good ten minutes before finally giving up. "I can't get out," he said. The police officer asked if he was sure, so the man yanked them several times before confirming that he couldn't get out.
The police officer took a sigh of relief and said, "Well, in that case, you're under arrest."
Police officers arresting a person | Source: Unsplash.com
Talking about drunk people causing trouble, here's another joke about a police officer who was on stakeout beside a bar when he saw a man stumbling out.
An officer parked his patrol car near a lively bar when he noticed a man stumbling out. The man was so intoxicated that he couldn't walk five feet without bumping into something or the other.
The officer waited patiently for the man to get in his car. The man tried his keys on several cars before finding it and jumped in. He sat in the car for a couple of minutes before starting the wipers. It was a dry summer night.
After a couple of minutes, he turned his blinkers on, followed by his headlights. He finally started his car and slowly went a couple of inches forward. He put the car in reverse and went a couple of inches back. He sat in the car for another ten minutes. Several other people had left the bar and drove off by then.
An aerial view of a parking lot | Source: Unsplash.com
The officer was getting really frustrated by the man, but his face lit up after the man started his car again. The car slowly took to the road. The officer started his patrol car, turned on the flashing lights, and pulled the man over.
After administrating the breathalyzer, the officer was shocked to find that the person was not drunk. He told the man that the machine was probably broken and he would like him to come with him to the police station.
The presumed drunk man smiled and said, "I highly doubt that." The officer asked why in surprise before the man said, "I'm the designated decoy for today."
Here's another joke about a teacher that explained the concept of division to her class.