Daily Joke: Three Men Talk about Their Wives in a Pub
For some reason, some men think that being manly you have to make your wife submissive. The reality is, the women are often the ones wearing the pants in the house.
One night, three men sat in a bar talking about their level of control over their wives. The first two men bragged for a long time about how they could pretty much get their wives to do anything.
After a while, they realized the third man was silent. "What about you?" they asked him. The third man said, "Last night, my wife came to me on her hands and knees, man."
The first two men were highly impressed. They asked: "What happened after?"
"She told me to come out from under the bed and fight like a man."
A WELL-DRESSED MAN ENTERS A BAR
One night, a well-dressed yet obviously drunk man walks into a bar.
"Bartender!" he screams as he approaches the counter. "A drink for everyone, please! Pour one for me, and one for you, too!"
The bartender pours all the drinks and everyone in the bar cheers. They all consume their beverages. The bartender gives the man the bill. The drunkard just shrugs and tells him, "Actually, I didn't bring my wallet tonight. Sorry."
The bartender goes on to give the man a proper beating and then throws him out of the bar. The following night, the bartender sees the man come in again. He's well-dressed and once again, drunk.
"Bartender! A drink for everyone, please! Pour for me and for you too!" he happily shouts as he arrives at the bar. The bartender thinks to himself:
"There's no way this guy is that stupid. He must have come to pay. Now I feel bad for beating him up."
The bartender pours all the drinks and once again, everyone in the bar cheers and drinks up with delight. The bartender then hands the man the bill. Again, the man shrugs and says, "Oh, I didn't bring my wallet with me again, so sorry."
More angered this time, the bartender beats him up even worse than the previous night and kicks him out. On the third night in a row, the bartender is shocked to see the man show up again, well-dressed and drunk.
"Bartender! A drink for everyone, please! Pour one for me too, please!" screams the man.
Fuming, the bartenders twistedly grins and asks, "What, no drink for ME tonight?"
The drunk looks up at him and says: "No way man, you get way too violent when you drink."
WOMAN ANNOUNCES TO FRIEND SHE'S GETTING MARRIED
A woman happily announced to her friend that she would soon be getting married for the fourth time in her life.
"That's wonderful!" said her friend. "I hope you don't mind my curiosity, but what happened to your first husband?
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died," the newly engaged woman responded.
"That's horrible!" her friend said. "And what about your second husband? Is he still alive?"
"No, he also ate poisonous mushrooms and died," the woman told her.
"Simply tragic! I'm afraid to ask about your third husband, now," the friend said.
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."