Daily Joke: Woman Announces to Friend That She Is Getting Married

There are some people who for whatever reason will find themselves in three marriages and counting. One woman's friend wanted to know about her history with her ex-husbands. 

A woman happily announced to her friend that she would soon be getting married for the fourth time in her life. 

"That's wonderful!" said her friend. "I hope you don't mind my curiosity, but what happened to your first husband? 

Two women engaged in conversation | Photo: Pixabay

Two women engaged in conversation | Photo: Pixabay

"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died," the newly engaged woman responded. 

"That's horrible!" her friend said. "And what about your second husband? Is he still alive?" 

"No, he also ate poisonous mushrooms and died," the woman told her. 

"Simply tragic! I'm afraid to ask about your third husband, now," the friend said. 

Mushrooms in the forest | Photo: Pixabay

Mushrooms in the forest | Photo: Pixabay

"He died of a broken neck." 

"A broken neck?" 

"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms." 

A man asks his friend why he's single

A man named Robert is 33 years old and still single. One day, his friend asked him, "What aren't you married? Haven't you found a good woman to make your wife?" 

Robert answered, "Actually, I've found quite a few of them, but whenever I bring them home to my parents, my mother hates them." 

The friend ponders on this and says, "I think I have a solution for you. Just find a woman who is exactly like your mother." 

A man and his wife holding hands and walking together | Photo: Pixabay

A man and his wife holding hands and walking together | Photo: Pixabay

Some months later, the two meet again and the friend asks, "Well, did you find the perfect girl? Did you mom like her?" 

Robert responds, "Yes, I found her. And I did as you say. She was just like my mother. Just like you said, my mother liked her a lot." 

The friend replied, "So what's the problem?" 

Thomas answered, "My father doesn't like her."

Old man tries to fix bedroom problem

An old man received a gift certificate from his wife for his 74th birthday. The man was hesitant when he found out what it was for. 

The certificate reward covered a visit to a medicine man who lived nearby who was said to have a cure for erectile dysfunction. 

The elderly man persuaded himself to give it a try, so he drove to the herbal doctor's home.

When he arrived and explained his situation, the man gave him a potion. Then, the doctor gripped the old man's shoulder tightly.

A large bedroom | Photo: Shutterstock

A large bedroom | Photo: Shutterstock

"This is powerful medicine," he said. "You should take only a teaspoon at a time. Say '1-2-3' and you will gain your manhood again."

He continued: "You'll be able to perform for as long as you like." The older man smiled at this and began walking away. 

He turned around to ask, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" to which the medicine man answered:

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4.' Keep in mind, after that the medicine will not work again until the arrival of the next full moon." 

An old woman covers her face | Photo: Shutterstock

An old woman covers her face | Photo: Shutterstock

The older man was eager to put the medicine into use. He got home, showered, shaved, and took a spoonful of the liquid. 

He invited his wife into the bedroom. Then, the man removed all of his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" 

Right away, he became the manliest of men. His wife was thrilled and started taking off her own clothes. 

Then, she asked: "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

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