August 03, 2020
A pregnant woman asked for advice since her husband has her feeling like she is “going insane,” and acting like their unborn son is the incarnation of his dead friend.
Providing pseudo names, Sarah wanted a broader perspective on a situation that started unfolding after the death of her husband’s best friend. Brian, her husband, and Tom used to do parkour together, but Tom stopped when he and Sarah married.
When Tom died as a result of a parkour accident, Brian felt guilt. Guilt that he wasn’t with his best friend when the accident happened. Maybe he could have done something to save him or be with him at the end, at least. But the feelings of grief and guilt soon turned into more.
Brian decided to take up parkour again, but obsessively. Hardly ever at home, Brian spends every free second on this dangerous activity. He is also about to quit his job to become a full-time YouTuber with his parkour skills. This sudden change in behavior petrifies Sarah.
“I’ve begged him to see a grief counselor, but he says he doesn’t have the time for it. Every day he comes home with new injuries, and I’m so scared I’m going to lose him the way Tom died,” she wrote.
The first four months of Sarah’s pregnancy went by without much ado from Brian, but then they found out that she is expecting a boy, and everything changed. Brian thinks of their son as the reincarnation of his dead friend.
Lamb chops were a favorite of Tom, and believing that their unborn son then obviously loves it too, Brian would force Sarah to eat some even though she hates it. When Brian spoke to the baby, it would sound like he is talking to Tom, and then the bomb dropped that Brian wants to name their baby Tom as well.
Sarah put her foot down and refused, she also made it clear that her son won’t learn to parkour. But then Brian’s mother entered the ring with her opinion that Sarah is “jealous of a dead man,” while hubby wasn’t far behind with profanities.
Pregnant Sarah’s conundrum evoked a string of comments from forum users, and almost like one voice, one after another warned that “delusional behavior like this is dangerous to bring a new baby,” while another added:
"I think the grief has turned into something deeper and started to control him. He said he doesn’t have time for therapy but that’s what he really needs."
What would you advise Sarah to do? Have you experienced something similar with someone you know? One thing pregnancy does to a woman is put her maternal protective instincts into overdrive. In a related story, a brother is finding this out the hard way after his sister became pregnant.
Wanting to make sure the baby’s surroundings are safe, the sister began making demands that affect her brother’s life as well, and he is not very keen to comply.