Woman Doesn’t Force Her Daughters to Be Nice to Their New Stepmom
The relationship between stepparents and stepkids can quickly become awkward. One woman wonders it is her place to force her kids to like their new stepmom.
On Sunday, a woman jumped on Reddit to try and figure out whether or not she is in the wrong for her part, or lack thereof, in helping to develop a relationship between her kids and their new stepmom.
The woman explained that her husband cheated on her and got a woman 15 years his junior found out. She promptly divorced him. The pair share two girls who are 12 and 11 years old.
DAUGHTERS UNHAPPY ON VISITS
The woman insisted that she never bad talks about her ex-husband. However, she believes they have put together two and two and know that their dad cheated due to the new baby.
The custody arrangement between the former couple sees the girls at their mom's home the majority of the time, and at their dad's for two weeks within a month.
The girls have told the woman that they do not enjoy going to their dad's. Their new stepmom often wants them to help change diapers, and their room is in the basement, although the father has a three-bedroom home.
In a recent incident, the younger girl got her menstrual while at her dad's and did not have sanitary napkins. She asked her dad for pads, but he told her to go to the stepmom.
The girl did not want to do so and texted her mom instead. The woman promptly drove over, brought the pads, hugged her girls, and reassured them she would see them the next day. Then came the complaints. She explained:
"My ex is pissed because I encroached on his time with the girls, and I should have told my oldest to just ask her stepmom. I said, 'I can't force (my daughter) to feel comfortable with her, I can't manufacture it.' "
ASKING FOR OPINIONS
The woman further insisted that she was not going to "go out of her way to tell my girls to have a relationship with their stepmom." All this was said out of earshot of the girls.
The woman ended by asking if she was the jerk for not helping the relationship when her girls have their own minds to determine what they want.
In response, almost everyone said she was not in the wrong. But one insightful user noted that the woman might want to give the girls permission to like the stepmom. The woman said she'd think about that.
FRIEND'S HUSBAND BANNED
The woman first noted that she has severe epilepsy, which she keeps in check with the help of her service dog, named Onyx. During her downtime, Onyx is just a dog — cuddling and relaxing or playing.
Now and then, her girlfriend and her husband come over to visit. The woman is very close to her friend, but not so much the husband. The latter holds the absurd belief that men are better than women.
FRIEND'S HUSBAND WANTS TO BABYSIT
In addition, he does not believe in unseen disabilities. Last week, the pair visited the woman. The man began playing with Onyx, which was no problem. Soon, he asked if he could have the dog over for a sleepover.
The woman said no, explaining that she needs Onyx to stay alive. In response, the man got upset, arguing that the dog needs to have fun. He even said he knew better because he was a man.
The woman asked him to leave. Fast forward to Sunday, the woman's friend calls her to ask if she and her husband could visit again. The woman said yes to her friend coming over, but not the husband.