Woman Wants to Send Only One of Her Daughters to Study Abroad — Here's Why

Lois Oladejo
Oct 28, 2020
06:00 P.M.
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A mother of two girls took to social media site Reddit to give reasons why she prefers to send only one of her children abroad for further studies against the wishes of the other.

Parenting has been described as a difficult task to undertake single-handedly, and so most times, parents love to seek the advice of other parents on decisions concerning their family.

This was the case of a mother of two girls who took to social media site Reddit to explain why she and her husband have decided to sponsor only one of their daughters abroad for further studies.

Portrait of a beautiful mature woman in a living room. | Photo: Getty Images


Her two daughters, which she described as A (aged 18) and B (aged 17), are both set for college but based on their choices, their parents doubt if they need similar financial investment.

Her 18-year-old daughter has no interest in anything other than partying and chatting with friends. According to this parent, daughter A admits that she has a lackluster approach to life.

Woman uses tablet while dog lies next to her | Photo: Pixabay


Another significant concern her parents have about sending her abroad is that she is easily influenced negatively. Her choice of friends has led to an increase in her alcohol consumption at just 18.

When her parents take disciplinary actions like grounding her, she shows no signs of change or remorse but instead lies that she wants to go for a walk in the park but ends up in the bars cooling off with a few rounds of drink.


Her parents began to harbor hopes during the lockdown as she began engaging in meaningful activities at home with her family like cooking, meditating, and family discussions. But even that did not last.

After the lockdown, she was back to her old ways. As they say, leopards do not change their spots. She seems to derive pleasure from her negative indulgence with her friends.


Her sole reason for desiring to school in the Netherlands and study Global Law, according to her mom, is to be with her friends. Her parents are troubled by her lack of personal ambition and see it as a risk to invest their finances in her.

When her mom suggested that she move to the Netherlands and get a job, she refused and instead began to throw tantrums, accusing her parents of being biased against her.


Her parents made it clear that until she stops using alcohol and undertakes therapy, their stance would not change. She said that she did not like her psychologist and has since refused to see any other specialist.

For her mum, the Netherlands is a place that can turn an alcoholic into a drug user, and her daughter has no good reason or drives to study. These are some red flags.


Meanwhile, daughter B is interested in studying Pedagogy in Denmark, does not have any interest in alcohol, and does not want to go there because of her friends. For these reasons, her parents prefer to send her alone to study.

For daughter A, her other option is to study at a public University in their home country and get a full-time job, but her response is no. She is bent on going to the Netherlands.


One user suggested that both girls be given a probationary first semester with the option of continuity based on their grades and encouraged their mom to provide them with equal chances to succeed.

Another user doubted the possibility of A focusing on school with her alcohol use while a third user noted that the Netherlands was a dream zone for drug users.

Here's another story about a woman who refuses to take in her biological child and is sending him to foster care.