Daily Joke: A Monocle Walks into a Bar

A monocle walked into a bar to have himself a few rounds of drinks. Getting there, he decided to smoke a cigarette, but the bartender won't let him.

A monocle walked into a bar and decided to have a few bottles of drink to calm himself. After a few bottles, he began to feel good but a bit uncoordinated.

The monocle decided to take his fun a step further since the day was all about fun. He brought out a cigarette to take a smoke, but the bartender did not let him.

Portrait of a straight-faced man wearing a monocle. | Photo: Getty Images

Portrait of a straight-faced man wearing a monocle. | Photo: Getty Images

The bartender told him that due to the city's ordinances, smoking was not allowed in the bar but instead, he would have to go outside and have his cigarette.

The monocle got off the barstool and headed outside. On his way out, he bumped into another monocle who was just coming out of the bathroom.

The two monocles fell to the ground when they bumped into each other and became entangled. The more they tried to break free, the more they were entangled. In annoyance, the bartender said: 

"Hey, you two! Stop making spectacles of yourselves!"

Here's another joke about a woman who bursts into her hypnotist's office. On a busy workday, a sad woman ran into her hypnotist's office weeping. Surprised at how much she was crying, the hypnotist asked her what had happened.

The weeping woman sobbed and said, "I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I had an affair!" She told the hypnotist that the guilt was killing her, and she wanted to forget about what happened.

On hearing her, the hypnotist shook his head, sighed, and said, "not again."

 A man went into a fancy restaurant to have lunch. Close to him was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He was interested in her but lacked the courage to approach her.

While he was checking her out without the courage to talk to her, she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards him. Quickly, he reached out and grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back to her.

The woman apologized and offered to buy him dinner as she put the eye back in its socket. The gentleman finally had his wish and gladly accepted.

They had dinner and went to the theater to see a movie and chat. The lady told him about her dreams and aspirations, and he did the same. The night was going fine.

After she paid for dinner, she asked him if he would love to join her in her place and stay for breakfast. He agreed, and the night continued to be fun-filled. The next morning she made him a gourmet meal with all the trimmings.

The man is thrilled and calls her the perfect woman. He asked her if she is always this nice to every man she meets, and she replied: "No, you just happened to have caught my eye."

Enjoyed these jokes? Here is another joke about a man posting love letters. 

Sources: Reddit, Reddit, Reddit

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