Daily Joke: A Man Tries to Order a Pizza over the Phone from Google's Pizza

A man once tried to place an order at Google's Pizza over the phone but ended up getting much more than he bargained for.

One day, a man decided to order a pizza over the phone from his favorite joint, Gordon's Pizza. However, he discovered some major changes, including the Pizza store's ownership.

The following conversation ensued: "Hello! Gordon's Pizza?" The electronic voice on the other end interjected: "No sir, it's Google's Pizza." Confused, the man said: "So it's a wrong number? Sorry."

Again, the voice corrected him, saying he had the right number. The voice then informed the man that Google bought the establishment. Satisfied with the reply, the man prompted the voice to take his order.

At that, the automated voice asked if he preferred the usual. A bit taken aback, the man asked: "The Usual? You know me?" Without fuss, the voice said the man's usual order.

Impressed, the customer asked the receiver to go ahead with the order. However, the voice sounded again, suggesting a different menu comprising ricotta, dry tomato, and arugula.

Flustered, the man barked his rejection, adding that he hated vegetables. But the voice insisted, informing the man he had abnormal levels of cholesterol. Unable to mask his surprise, the man asked:

"How do you know?"

The reply came in the usual robotic tone, explaining how the company got to know about the customer's health history. The caller thought for a while before replying:

"Okay, But I do not want this pizza! I already take medicine..."

Before he concluded his statement, the automated voice interrupted: "Excuse me, but you have not taken the medicine regularly, from our commercial database. 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 cholesterol tablets at Drugsale Network."

The man carefully explained that he bought more packs from another drugstore. But the automated voice interjected: "It's not showing on your credit card statement." The man replied, "I paid in cash."

After a brief pause, the voice argued: "But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement." The now frustrated man replied that:

"I have other sources of cash."

The voice paused again, before saying: "This is not showing as per your last Tax form. Unless you bought them from undeclared income source." The angry man interjected, "what the hell!"

Understanding the man's plight, the voice attempted a subtle apology in an attempt to alleviate the man's anger. It said: "I'm sorry sir. We use such information only with the intention of helping you…"

The voice on the receiver's end hardly completed the sentence when the man interrupted: "Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone line and no one to watch me or spy on me." Calmly, the voice said:

"I understand sir. But you need to renew your passport first, as it expired five weeks ago."

Here is another joke about a CEO's first day on the job: A new CEO took over a factory and decided to do away with all the slackers.

After taking over ownership of a factory that was on the verge of bankruptcy, the new CEO decided to improve earnings by getting rid of all the slackers.

While taking a tour of the company, he noticed a guy leaning on the wall. The CEO could not believe the guy's effrontery. So he walked up to him and asked: "What are you doing here?"

Without batting an eyelid, the man replied: "I'm just waiting to get paid." Aggravated by the man's response, the CEO asked: "How much money do you make a week?" The young man starred at the CEO curiously before responding:

"I make about $300 a week. Why?"

Without offering a response, the furious CEO reached for his checkbook and scribbled the sum of $1,200, which he handed to the man and said: "Here's four weeks' pay. Now get out and don't come back."

Without muttering another word, the young fellow pocketed the check and strolled out of the factory. After watching him leave, the CEO turned to the other employees, hoping they'd learned an important lesson.

He asked: "Does anyone want to tell me what just happened here?" One of the employees responded: "Yeah. You just tipped the Pizza delivery guy $1,200."

Enjoyed the two jokes? Here is another hilarious joke.

Source: Upjoke, Jokesoftheday