Daily Joke: Man Hears a Voice in an Empty Bar

Today's joke is about a man who steps into the bar and starts hearing a voice but cannot locate the source. Surprisingly enough, he has an interesting conversation with the secret voice.  Find out what happens next. 

You might have had all sorts of queer experiences in your life, and some might even date back to your time at a bar. And this man right here went through a similar scenario when he walked into a bar and was complemented by a high-pitched voice: "That shirt looks great on you!" 

Photo: AmoMama

Photo: AmoMama

The man was startled and looked around to find out where the words came from but couldn't see anything. After a while, the same voice addressed him again, this time with another sweet compliment: "You seem like a really cool guy!" 

A man drinking in a bar. | Photo: Unsplash/Dustin Belt

A man drinking in a bar. | Photo: Unsplash/Dustin Belt

Once again, the man looked around in utter amazement but could not decipher where the words came from. By now, he had become nearly convinced that he was hearing voices out of nowhere and decided to seek professional help. 

He managed to slam away the delusional thoughts and returned to his drink, calming his nerves. As soon as he had relaxed a little, the voice alarmed him again: "I bet your parents are really proud of you!" 

A man staring at his glass of drink. | Photo: Unsplash/Tobias Nii Kwatei Quartey

A man staring at his glass of drink. | Photo: Unsplash/Tobias Nii Kwatei Quartey

The man had had enough of the voice haunting him, so he got up with a jerk and looked around to locate its whereabouts. When he failed miserably in his search for the secret voice, he addressed the bartender in utter confusion: "Hey barkeep! What's the voice I keep hearing?" 

The bartender heard the man's question and replied: "Oh, those are the peanuts. They're complimentary." 

A woman and man talking in a bar. | Photo: Pexels/cottonbro

A woman and man talking in a bar. | Photo: Pexels/cottonbro

A YOUNG WOMAN MEETS A HANDSOME ARMY OFFICER

Here is another joke about a young woman who runs into a handsome army officer in a bar on a Friday night. The two start talking and share drinks together, following which the woman asks him: "So when was the last time you slept with a real woman then?" 

The army officer is surprised by the question posed at him, but proceeds to reply regardless: "Let's see...that would have been about 2015." 

Two people with intertwined hands. | Photo: Pexels/Liza Summer

Two people with intertwined hands. | Photo: Pexels/Liza Summer

The woman then takes the army brat home for a cozy evening together and sings his praises soon afterward. "Well sergeant...for somebody who hasn't had sex since 2015, you certainly haven't forgotten anything!" 

Startled by the woman's compliment, the man takes a good look at his wristwatch and says: "I should hope not, it's only 2230!"

A barman mixing a cocktail. | Photo: Pexels/andrea piacquadio

A barman mixing a cocktail. | Photo: Pexels/andrea piacquadio

A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR AND ORDERS A WHISKEY

Here's another bar joke where a man walks into the bar and orders a drink, asking the barkeep how much it is for. The barkeep replies that it's for 2 cents. The man is shocked at how cheap the whiskey is, and asks the barkeep if they also served food. 

When the barkeep replies in the affirmative, the man orders a steak and chips. The barkeep tells him that they also cost 2 cents. The man cannot contain his frustration and tells the barkeep that he's charging too little. He also asks the barkeep if he owns the bar. 

A laughing out loud emoji on a cell phone. | Photo: Unsplash/Markus Winkler

A laughing out loud emoji on a cell phone. | Photo: Unsplash/Markus Winkler

The barkeep replies that he's a friend of the owner and that the owner is upstairs with his wife. When the man inquires what the owner is doing with the barkeep's wife upstairs, the barkeep says: "The same thing I'm doing to his business!"

If you enjoyed these jokes, do check out this other joke where Jesus walks into a bar and meets a Russian man.

Sources: Reddit, Upjoke  

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