Date or Avoid: Learn Your Perfect Match Based on Astrology

Yana Yanovich, an astrologer with 20+ years of experience and top astrologer of the Nebula app, reveals the column about love compatibility.

If I said that love, relationship, and compatibility questions are number one on the list of the most popular requests in astrology and my daily interactions with users of the Nebula, I would be wrong. Is it not number one? It’s number one, two and three, leaving all the other subjects (like money or career) far behind in popularity.

At the same time, very few people go beyond Sun sign compatibility. What is a Sun sign? You probably also know it as the Zodiac sign - the position of the Sun in a certain sector (sign) of the Zodiac wheel at the moment of birth. While it is true that not all signs get along equally well, unfortunately, judging only by one out of many aspects of someone’s personality will not get you far.

The position of the Sun in a Natal Chart indicates the energy of one’s conscious mind, one’s ego, and creative spirit. But what about emotions? Thinking and communication? Sensual sphere? These are shown by the Moon, Mercury, and Venus, respectively. Several more planets on this list, each playing its role in forming one’s individual and unique personality. They can be placed in the same sign as the Sun, thus intensifying the expression of that Zodiac sign or indifferent ones, giving someone various expressions.

The Elements That Need to Be Analyzed

For an astrologer to determine the compatibility of two people, either romantic or, for example, professional, all these elements need to be analyzed. The larger number of factors gives both more room for a positive outcome and conflicts. Since all the planets in one chart can make harmonious and conflicting contacts with the planets in the other chart (sometimes more than one), the decision stops being a simple 100% “yes” or “no” and becomes more of a scale, if you really have to put it in numbers. A better way, though, is understanding that all conflicting energies can be worked through, provided both parties are willing to do so.

To demonstrate it with an example, the compatibility chart of Paul and Linda McCartney, who were happily married for 29 years until Linda passed away, contains one of the most challenging aspects for a couple (Venus opposite Moon), which can create serious disagreements and eventual separation if it wasn’t for all the other positive and helping planetary contacts in the chart.

I’m trying to say that before I get to the general rules of which signs are compatible and which are not, you should always keep in mind that every case is unique and needs to be analyzed individually. However, if you can’t help eyeballing your compatibility with someone you’ve just met and kind of like, I’ll go over the basic rules in just another sentence or two.

Which Signs to Date vs. Avoid?

When facing the question “Which Signs to Date vs. Avoid?” the first thing a professional astrologer will say is, “Well, it depends on who’s asking.” Like with colors, flavors of ice cream, music, and many other things, there is no such thing as “ultimately good” and “all-around bad” for everyone. It is a matter of personal preference and needs. I love yellow, but I look horrible in a yellow top while red or orange suits me quite well. That doesn’t mean yellow is a color that everybody should avoid wearing. Do you see what I mean?

When we talk about personal compatibility in astrology, the general rule of thumb is that signs of compatible elements tend to get along well. I like to use the natural world analogy because it makes it easy to remember.

Fire and Air mix well. The fire needs air to keep burning while the air gets warmed up by the fire. Astrologically and psychologically, it translates into the situation where people of Air signs usually provide various thoughts and ideas for the people of Fire signs. At the same time, the latter gives a boost of energy and action into these ideas, propelling the Air signs into action. Air signs are Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius. Fire signs are Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius. They mix and match in any combination.

Involvement of Earth Signs

Water and Earth mix well too. I’m sure you know how this works in nature, even if the most gardening you’ve ever done was to try and have a houseplant that one time but it died because you forgot to water it. Earth on its own is too dry and rational. Water, on the other hand, lacks structure and form. They help each other with the qualities the other one lacks and thus create a fruitful union. Earth signs are Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn. Water signs are Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces. Again, mix in any combination, and don’t listen to anyone who says bad things about Scorpios. Yes, they’re intense. This doesn’t make them bad. Some love this deep emotional involvement. And some people look gorgeous wearing yellow!

Now, the above rule, as I keep saying in almost every sentence, is general and should not be applied only to the placement of your Sun sign. It can very well be that your Sun sign is not compatible with the current or potential partner’s Sun, but it has multiple harmonious contacts with Venus, the Moon, etc.

A friend of mine is a great example of that. She has been married for eight years and together with her partner for about 11 years total. They have two wonderful boys. She is a Sagittarius, and he is a Virgo. Fire and Earth. They’re incompatible. If only looking at the Sun signs and applying the rules I gave—they shouldn’t have lasted that long. But when you calculate their Natal charts, it turns out that his Moon (emotional needs) is in Sagittarius. He needs this Sagittarian energy in his life to feel emotionally comfortable. Her Moon is in Pisces (Water), which gives a second match in the chart (with his Sun in Virgo). There are more contacts I could ramble on about, but if you’re not that deep into the topic yet, I’m afraid it might send you to sleep!

Let me conclude with two pieces of advice. One: go beyond the Sun sign, look at the other aspects of personality. Two: Understand each sign’s characteristics in-depth, which will help you improve your relationship with the “incompatible” side of the partner. In my friend’s example, it is not always smooth sailing, and they clash now and then. But since she has started learning astrology, she says it has been much easier for her to handle those moments.