October 07, 2021
One TikTok user, @karpoozy, also identified as Kirsta, took to the video-sharing platform to call out parents trying to re-home their adoptive children. She noted that such activities could leave the child traumatized.
Kirsta, a self-proclaimed “Geek adoptee,” compiled a series of screenshots of Facebook posts by parents discussing the return of their adopted children.
THE UNCHECKED REALITY
Most of these parents bore resentments towards their kids, evident in the frustrations portrayed in their posts. The woman began her video by saying:
“I’m just here to remind everyone that adopted children get returned, oftentimes through Facebook. Facebook! I’ve got a few posts I want to share. Buckle up, let’s read.”
Right after that, the first post popped up on the screen, seemingly from a woman seeking a home for a 15-year-old boy with a hearing disability. The boy was supposedly adopted at the age of six, but his adopted family now wants him out of their lives.
The next screenshot displayed the rants from a woman venting her frustration over their piling legal fees since she commenced procedures to dissolve her parental rights. The poster was saddened that no one cared about what she was going through, nor felt the need to understand.
For the next post, an adoptive parent wanted to know how long it took to disrupt an adoption, as they were concerned about people finding out they were seeking new families for their two boys.
One of the screenshots was from a woman frustrated that her adopted son was feeding well and had gained 3 pounds within three and half weeks of living with his new family. Kirsta quickly chimed in:
“Resentment! So you rehome your adopted kid, and now you’re mad that they are eating?”
Another post was from parents seeking to find a new family when dissolving an international adoption. The poster, who had had the kid for ten years, was frustrated by the agency’s refusal to help them due to the boy’s age, race, behavior, and medical issues.
REASONS PARENTS DISRUPT ADOPTIONS
After sharing her extracted posts, Kirsta asked the question weighing on everyone’s mindꟷ Why do people decide to re-home their adopted children? In response, she gave a handful of reasons, saying:
“The child’s physical health, their emotional health, the adopted parents just don’t feel like having the child anymore. Many say it’s due to aggressive behavior and defiance.”
Explaining further, she noted that adopted youth were more likely to develop ADHD or ODD, which manifest in the form of challenging behaviors. These attitudes are to be expected, especially when the child in question comes from trauma.
THE SAD TRUTH ABOUT RE-HOMING
Kirsta believes parents who failed to put up with such behaviors and opted to re-home the kids were not prepared to become parents in the first place. Even more disheartening was that these parents do so after spending several years with the kids. She vented:
“That’s a fair chunk of a child’s life. You’re teaching them that love is conditional, you can be re-abandoned, further traumatizing the child.”
STATISTIC DON’T LIE
Many commenters could relate to Kirsta’s post, admitting they had been through similar situations as kids. Most expressed how painful it was to be returned after embracing a family as theirs. One wrote, “This happened to me when I was 16. That day broke me.”
Some TikTokers also recounted the traumatic experience of growing up under adoptive parents who constantly threatened to return them to the agency if they misbehaved.
A comment read, “I went to school with an adopted kid whose parents would threaten to give her back every time they were mad at her.” Many parents even reminded their adopted kids to be eternally grateful for saving them from the orphanage.
THE CALL FOR A CHANGE
“There should be jail time for abandoning an adopted kid. These are narcissists who only adopt for attention, not for loving a child.”
Meanwhile, most netizens questioned the authenticity of Kirsta’s claims, asking for statistical proof that such activities went unchecked in the society and were not simply “anecdotal.”