Old Widow on Her Desire to Not Have Children: 'I Would Live the Same Life One Thousand Times'

Time and again, parents refer to their children as their pride and joy. But one elderly widow claimed her happiness stemmed from her childfree lifestyle. Nearly 50 years later, people are surprised at her outlook on not having children.

Redditor widowchildfree, 85, thought she was the oldest person to narrate her story on Reddit. “Dear Young People,” she addressed the readers as she revealed the reasons behind her childfree life.

The Original Poster (OP) was married for 50 years. Both she and her husband had good jobs and respected each other’s interests. There were no familial stresses, and everything seemed perfect. However, the two decided to oppose the norm of having babies.

For years, the couple dismissed the idea claiming “they were still trying.” But when questions regarding their family expansion surged, they closed the matter claiming they couldn’t have children. The OP explained:

“It was our personal secret...If we were honest and said, “we cannot have kids because we just don’t want them,” the fallout with family and friends would have been tough for us.”

For the next 50 years, the couple followed their interests and lived a happy life. But the most significant blow arrived when the OP’s partner passed away.

“My husband died 10 years ago. I mourned him and still miss him every day,” she explained. She became lonely, and it felt a part of her was no more. Still, she claimed she was happy that children never defined her life. She added:

“I had a strong network of friends and so many hobbies. I was able to move forward. Life goes on, and I have a full and happy life and a new partner.”

The OP claimed some of her friends who lost their partners became wholly dependent on their children, which was against her life policies. “Their common problems are their kids don’t give them enough time. It upsets and hurts them,” she detailed. Several people who read her post found her story reasonable.

Redditor SnizzKitten agreed with the OP, emphasizing a relatable story about her grandmother’s roommate who spent the last few years of her life waiting for her family to show up. Sadly, nobody visited her. The person explained:

“She died shortly after…The woman had photos on the wall. Four kids and scads of grandkids. She had little dementia…but if she thought having kids would keep her taken care of and keep her from dying alone, she was sadly mistaken.”

Another user sided with the OP’s claims in a comment that read: “This is the most logical. Kids are expensive. If you saved even a fraction of what you would be spending on kids yearly, you’d have hefty retirement savings.” Meanwhile, some were curious to know more about her new partner.

Redditor Dogzillas_Mom posted a question that read: “Wait, you found a new partner at 75? Bless you, woman, you’ve given me hope. Thank you for sharing your experiences!”

While narrating her story, the OP candidly asked herself if she would prefer being childfree if she went back in time.

The OP responded that she’d found her new partner at 78. “He was 71 at the time. But not having kids and being active means I now look 70 (they tell me) and feel like 35!” she added. As the discussion surged, people were curious to know if she knew people who regretted being childfree.

Redditor vanillyl asked the OP: “I have a question which may be somewhat controversial, though. Do you know any people who have chosen to be childfree and regretted it? If so, why?” The person added:

“I’m 31, and I’m fairly certain of my choice, but there is always that niggling doubt at the back of my mind that maybe everyone will turn out right, and I will regret it when I’m older.”

The OP responded that she knew seven ladies who embraced a childfree lifestyle and had no regrets. She claimed even several mothers supported her decision and said she had done the right thing.

While narrating her story, the OP candidly asked herself if she would prefer being childfree if she went back in time. “100 percent yes. I would live the same life one thousand times,” she added.

The OP moved to a private apartment she dubbed as a “rest home” and is occupied with friends and staff who tend to her.

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