Newborn Given Up for Adoption 30 Years Ago Contacts Bio-Mom behind Adoptive Parents’ Back

A woman gave up her newborn child for adoption and received an email from the child 30 years later. She broke down in tears after reading the message.

The woman shared that her child contacted her behind the adoptive parents' backs. They were the same people she chose for her child while going for open adoption.

She shared how she lost all contact with her child and the adoptive parents. She felt emotional after talking to her child for the first time in decades.

The woman with the Reddit username Imtypingthisnow shared that she gave her child up for an "open adoption," where she knew and chose the adoptive parents. She explained:

"I gave them a letter in the early stages of the pregnancy, it was agreed that our sweet child would know that they were wanted and loved from the day they were conceived."

A few years later, OP (Original Poster) sent them another letter to find out how her child was doing. The adoptive parents sent an abrupt reply and told the woman not to contact them again.

Thirty years later, OP's child reached out to her. During these years, she tried her best not to approach the child. She often traveled across the country to be near her child.

Two hours after the call, OP fell asleep and felt content for the first time in thirty years.

The woman shared that her child was not a secret in her life. She was proud of her decision concerning adoption and of finding the best adoptive parents for her child.

She confessed that she used to think of her child every day. One day, she received an email from her child. Shocked, she opened it and read the message. She recalled:

"After the sobbing and throwing up, I wrote back."

They exchanged emails and photos, after which OP heard her child's voice for the first time. Two hours after the call, OP fell asleep and felt content for the first time in thirty years.

The phone call made OP forget about all the bad things in her life. After some time, her child called her again, and they talked about his adoptive parents. OP recalled:

"The child's adoptive folks are going through health issues"

OP also learned that her child's partner helped her child him with her. The partner was the main reason for their reunion.

However, OP said she was "deeply concerned" upon learning her child's adoptive parents had no idea about their meeting or that they were in touch. She felt uncomfortable knowing her child's adoptive mother was unaware of their contact. She explained:

"So my analogy is that this is a "party" that my invitation should have been the last one issued."

She felt her child's adoptive parents should know what was happening behind their backs. She confessed she was "terrified at the fragility of this connection."

OP didn't know what to do next, so she posted her story on Reddit. Another Redditor named Just2Breathe replied:

"As an adult adoptee, I totally understand the need to keep some things to ourselves."

The Redditor shared that many adoptees wait for their adoptive parents to pass away before contacting their biological parents. The user advised OP to accept her child's wishes and give him time to process everything.

OP thanked the Redditor and felt that their comment was helpful. Meanwhile, stacey1771 shared that she met her biological parents in the presence of her adoptive mom. She confessed:

"It was awkward having her there, b/c I couldn't be as open."

Most Redditors agreed that OP should give her child some time to process the situation. They also felt surprised knowing that OP was considerate towards the people who prohibited her from contacting her child.

Questions to Ponder:

Do you think OP was overthinking?

OP felt bothered knowing that her child's adoptive parents had no idea they were in contact. She felt terrified thinking about how they'd react if they learned what was going on behind their backs. Do you think her worries were justified? Was she overthinking?

Do you think OP should have talked to her child despite knowing that his parents were against it?

Since OP had given her child up for adoption, some people might think she should have respected the adoptive parents' wishes. She was afraid they might not like it that their child talked to her without their permission. Do you think OP should have continued talking to her child?

If you enjoyed reading this story, you might like this one about a woman who gave her son up for adoption and accidentally ran into him 11 years later at a hardware store.

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