A man diagnosed with severe abnormalities recalls his mother calling him "ugly" and admitting that she wished he would die because of his appearance.
Robert Hoge, a writer from Brisbane, Australia, was born with deformities. He was born with abnormal legs and a tumor on his face. Hoge wrote down his experience in his memoir, noting the horrible treatment he received from his family.
The then-44-year-old said his parents were so taken aback by the rounded tumor in the center of his face and deformed legs that his mom refused to see him for a week after he was born. Then, finally, she informed medical officials that she did not want the baby.
[Left] Robert Hoge with his parents when he was a child; [Right] Robert Hoge with earpiece plugged in his ears and a book on the floor. | Source: facebook.com/robert.hoge.author
Hoge recalled growing up and seeing his mom write her thoughts in a diary, which he desperately tried to read. The political adviser added that his mother had always expected a healthy baby.
HOGE'S MOM DID NOT WANT HIM
Once the baby arrived, Hoge added that his mother was only concerned about his looks before asking about his gender. The disappointed parents cried after learning of their son's condition.
The new mom hoped the child would not live and save them all the pity and anguish of his conditions, but her husband was sure the child would live long since he looked healthy. Their pain increased, knowing Hoge would stick around longer than they thought.
The doctors and nurses all encouraged Hoge's mother to make the trip to the hospital's nursery, where the baby awaited his family. But, when she saw the baby, she opted not to take him home. According to Hoge, his mom wrote in her diary:
"I wished he would go away or die or something. I told the hospital staff I didn't want my baby. I wouldn't under any circumstances take it home."
Hoge's mom confessed that she felt nothing for her needy toddler and had shut off from him. However, she began to pay regular visits to the hospital but could not imagine herself bringing him home. Hoge later joined the family following a vote.
FATHERHOOD TAUGHT HIM A LESSON
Hoge said his mother later came to terms with his appearance and her sentiments. She separated her horror from her worries about raising a child with severe health issues.
She distanced her fears of shame if people stared at her son from her concerns about the impact bringing him home would have on the rest of her children. And she began working through the difficulties in her thoughts.
Hoge and his family began to discuss their feelings openly when he was ten, and soon, he started to feel the support of his parents and his siblings.
Hoge later understood how his parents felt about him when he welcomed his own child. According to him, drawing from their emotions and experience helped him settle into fatherhood.
The Brisbane-based author said he's learned to value his family and not expect perfection from his children; instead, he's known to give love and support.
Despite his early limitations, Hoge found success as a speechwriter and a former political adviser. He authored a memoir where he shared his story. Hoge's rise to fame and success shows that anyone can do anything regardless of their constraints.
news.AmoMama.com does not support or promote any kind of violence, self-harm, or abusive behavior. We raise awareness about these issues to help potential victims seek professional counseling and prevent anyone from getting hurt. news.AmoMama.com speaks out against the above mentioned and news.AmoMama.com advocates for a healthy discussion about the instances of violence, abuse, sexual misconduct, animal cruelty, abuse etc. that benefits the victims. We also encourage everyone to report any crime incident they witness as soon as possible.